THE EQUALS ATTRACT - Osho
This is my perception. If you are unhappy, you will find someone who is unhappy.
Unhappy people are attracted to unhappy people. And it's okay, it's natural. It is good that unhappy people are not attracted to happy people; otherwise, it would destroy your happiness. It is perfectly fine. Only happy people are attracted to happy people.
Only a loving person - someone who is already loving - is able to find the right partner.
The equals attract. Smart people are attracted to each other; Less intelligent people attract each other. You connect with people of your same level. So the first thing to remember is: a relationship that has originated in unhappiness will become bitter. First, happy, joyful, celebrate and only then will you find another soul that you are celebrating and there will be a meeting of two souls dancing together and a wonderful dance will emerge from there.
Don't ask for a relationship because of your loneliness, no.
If so, you will be moving in the wrong direction. Then you will be using the other person and you will be being used by her. And nobody likes to be used! Each individual is an end in itself. Using someone is inmoral. First learn to be alone. Meditation is a way of being alone.
If you are able to be happy when you are alone, you will have found the secret of happiness. Then you will be able to be happy as a couple. If you are happy, then you will have something to give, to share. Because when you give, you also receive; not the opposite. Then emerges the need to love someone.
You usually have the need to be loved by someone. It is a wrong need too. It is a children's need; Denote your immaturity. It is the attitude of a child.
A child is born. Naturally, the child cannot love his mother; He doesn't know what love is and he doesn't know who his mother is or who his father is. You are absolutely helpless. Your being is not yet integrated; It is not formed, it is not one yet. It is only a potential. The mother has to love him, the father has to love him, the whole family has to dump his love on him. Now he learns something: that everyone should love him. He never learns that he must love. Now the child will grow up, and if he remains stuck in this attitude that everyone should love him, he will suffer for the rest of his life. Your body will have grown, but your mind will remain immature.
A mature person is one who discovers his other need: the need to love someone. The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature. And when you are ready to love someone, only then, can a beautiful relationship arise.
Is it possible for two people in a love relationship to harm each other? Yes, it is in fact what is happening on the entire planet. "Being good" is very difficult. You are not even able to be good to yourself. How are you going to be good to someone else then? You are not even able to love yourself! How are you going to love another? First learn to love yourself, learn to be good to yourself.
Your "religious saints" have taught you not to love yourself, not to be good to yourself. Be tough with you! They have taught you to be soft with others and strict with yourself. This is absurd. I teach you that the first and most important thing is to be loving with yourself. Do not be hard, soft. Take care of yourself. Learn to forgive yourself - again and again and again - seven times, seventy-seven times, seven hundred seventy-seven times. Learn to forgive you. Don't be hard; Don't face yourself. And so you will flourish.
In that flowering you will attract another flower. It's natural. The stones attract the stones; Flowers attract flowers. Then a beautiful relationship is created, with grace. If you can establish such a relationship, your relationship will grow, it will become a prayer; your love will become ecstasy and through love you will know the divine.
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