Table of contents hide 1 the reality of who we are. 2 from falling in love to acceptance. 3 the eight worldly interests . 4 work on our emotions .
The War of the Roses is the name of a film of the 80's, starring Michael Douglas, has been used countless times to show and understand how we can evolve in our personal relationships in a not-so-edifying way and in a direction without return to frustration and pain.
the reality of who we are…
As is common at the beginning of a friendly or loving relationship, we respect and measure our actions and thoughts in a way that we do not want, nor do we seek to bother or move away from the other, somehow we strive to make everything go well even if it does not reflect the reality of who we are This is not good or bad, it is part of a physical and chemical process that we go through in the phase of falling in love that is important when starting a relationship with someone, it is the necessary first contact of empathy.
The interesting thing and it is scientifically proven is that the process of falling in love is not eternal, it can last months, years, decades but it is not forever and when it ends most of the times it invites us to reorient ourselves and link ourselves in an appropriate and more objective way with the other.
from falling in love to acceptance…
What happens when the infatuation phase passes? ... Some authors say that it is something like seeing the reality of the other more clearly, observing more deeply the reality of the projections and expectations that we place on the other, this is also not Good or bad, it is like that, it just happens.
The point is that by transcending the crush comes the real challenge of appreciating the other person from genuine love and acceptance or transforming it into attachment and aversion, we have control over that decision.
The War of the Roses shows us the evolution of the couple's relationship from illusion and shared projects to anger, power and competition.
the eight worldly interests…
The need for power is one of those known as the "Eight worldly interests", accompanied by attachment to sensory pleasures, the need for fame and good reputation, all are present in our daily lives but when they permeate in our personal relationships If we are not attentive, they have a highly destructive effect.
In the movie we find these eight worldly interests in a relationship that began with good intentions, understanding, collaboration, perseverance and dedication, to end in aversion n, lack of communication, anger and aggression .
work on our emotions .
All these emotions are one extreme, one of the other, for example in one extreme we find anger and in the other to acceptance and tolerance, in one extreme we find jealousy and in the other to detachment and finally in one extreme we find to envy and in the other to rejoicing in the happiness of others .
As Budha pointed out at the time, all emotions or afflictions are workable and watching this movie can help us learn in other people's shoes, to detect what we sometimes do to retain the other or the others, reaping only difficulties and suffering .
This film is commonly used for therapeutic purposes in the “Group Therapy” modality to discuss and somehow make us aware of the harmful effects of our actions when they are impregnated with wrong views and we can also laugh nervously about what it crosses the couple of the film… and it is true that to a greater or lesser degree this type of relationship exists… the effective antidote is the conscious attention and the conviction of the existence of the cause and effect to guide us as much as possible in the healthy direction and positive of well-being and happiness.
AUTHOR: Pilar Vázquez, collaborator of the great family of the White Brotherhood
