If you have your mother well integrated in you, you will shine! ", By Bert Hellinger
- 2013
VÍCTOR-M. AMELA - 10/15/2009
He studied philosophy, theology, pedagogy, was a Catholic missionary and today is one of the most controversial psychotherapists, father of family constellations, thriving system of approach and resolution of psychic conflicts. Seeing one of his workshops amazes: movements are mysteriously generated between people who don't know each other and who represent others. "We don't know the forces that harbor us!" Summarizes Hellinger.
I am 83 years old. I was born in Germany, and there I live. I travel all over the world to run family constellation workshops. I'm married. I have no children I don't talk about my political ideas or my beliefs: how could that be useful to someone? The mother is the connection to life
What do you remember about your mother?
Can you inform me before about what matters you are interested in dealing with in this interview?
Of his psychotherapy. But, before, a little of his life.
My life? Better to talk about useful topics for your readers, rather than the circumstances of my biography.
Okay, but I think knowing your life can help you understand your method. ...
What do you remember about your youth under Nazism? ...
The Catholicism of their parents kept them from that barbarism, I have read.
Propose a topic, and let's focus on that.
Okay: the mother. He maintains that the mother figure shapes our psyche.
The mother is at the foundation of our happiness! If you are in good connection with your mother, you shine.
Do you shine
If you have your mother well psychically integrated, you will radiate joy, people will love you, triumph in your life, shine ...
Well that's why I ask for his mother.
If we love our parents as they are, if we say "yes" to what they are and, above all, if we are happy that our mother bore us, we will shine with happiness!
You were a Catholic priest, a missionary among the Zulus for 16 years ...
What did you learn there?
I never saw a disrespectful Zulu child with his parents, with his elders, his ancestors ... It would be inconceivable for a Zulu to speak ill of his parents!
You left the Catholic priesthood by asking someone a certain question ...
"What is more important to you: your ideals or people?" They asked. ...
He reconsidered and returned to Europe 30 years ago to train in psychotherapy.
I don't talk about myself: it's not a topic. Ask me something that is useful to those who read this, please.
He devised a psychotherapeutic method: family constellations. What is that?
Are you willing to listen to things that may seem strange?
It won't be the first time, don't fear.
When someone has a blockage, a conflict, a knot, and wants to address it to resolve it, I place it on the stage of the psychotherapy workshop, or place one of those present to represent him ...
Even if they don't know each other?
Although they do not know each other, even if the representative knows nothing of the represented.
And what happens then?
That the representative does something, looks somewhere, moves ... If he looks at the ground, he is looking at someone dead, he wants to die ... I put another person there to represent the dead person. The movements follow each other and express the conflict ...
What mechanism is operating there?
Do not seek scientific explanation. The truth is that there are manifested forces that pierce us. Each representative is invaded by the emotions of those represented, the conflict manifests itself in these unpredictable movements.
And what role do you play?
None. I just feel and watch what happens. The mother's figure is always represented at some point. I don't need to ask, I just see what happens. In the case of people with failures in their personal and professional life, it is always the same: disconnection with the mother!
Yes? And can that be repaired?
May. She often meets the mother again, they hug, they take a deep breath ... They have reconnected! Those movements have joined what was separated.
Our failures and unhappiness come from splits with the mother, then?
Yes. Many entrepreneurs fail because they reproduce with their company the same rejection relationship they have with mom.
And what does the father paint in all this?
The mother connects us to life and the father leads us to social life.
What about the newborn whose parents are separated?
If the parents agree to continue performing their respective functions of father and mother, nothing serious.
What if the mother undermines the father's figure before the son?
If a mother undermines or steals the figure of the father, incapacitates her children for social success and sows rage in her children ... that one day they will return.
Why is there so much tyrant today?
I have seen an aggressive two-year-old boy: he has absorbed the rage that his mother did not assume for an abortion ... Sometimes the child captures that dad or mother does not want to live, and is aggressive to attract his attention to life.
Why so many women killed?
Victims of men by centuries, women today look at men with accumulated rage ... and some men react criminally to that look.
Advise a girl about to give birth.
Do you really want to give birth? Or just to have your baby removed without finding out about it ?: Anesthesia and caesarean section steal your child's first chance to fight and his great chance of winning a victory in this life. Can a creature with this beginning impose itself later on in life and succeed? Hard, hard ...
source: Unknown
“If you have your mother well integrated in you, you will shine!”, By Bert Hellinger
