CHÖGYAM TRUNGPA RINPOCHE PLATICA WITH A STUDENT ABOUT THE STATE OF DEPRESSION AND DESCRIBES IT AS “THE MOST DIGNIFIED ENERGY OF ALL”.
Depression is a state of mind that all humans share, and it is absolutely recognizable as it implies a kind of apathy, or nihilism, in the face of life. One of its strongest symptoms is that it strips us of inspiration and therefore of good ideas. It does not occur to any depressed man that exercising, meditating, going for a walk, writing or reading can help him get out of heaviness because in that state everything, absolutely everything, loses meaning. But depression, too, is an incredibly deep state and puts the person in contact with themselves. None of the external things seem to achieve a dialogue with the depressed; The dialogue is only inward, with the depths.
The following text is a passage from a talk by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, which can help to understand the feeling, or, as he calls it, "the texture" of depression. Trungpa emphasizes that depression is "the most dignified energy of all", and imbues a kind of sacredness to the experience. He manages to bring to light the inspiration where there is apparently only darkness.
The following talk was adapted from the “Budadharma without credentials” seminar that took place in Dharmadhatu, New York, in March 1973. The full talk is here (in English).
Student: What about depression? All the things he talks about seem to be energies, emotions of energies, but a state of depression seems to be a negative energy, or an absence of energy.
Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche (CTR): Depression is one of the very powerful energies, one of the most common energies we have. It is energy. Depression is like an oxygen tank that wants to burst, but still packed. It is a fantastic energy bank, much more than aggression and passion, which develop and then leave. They are, in a sense, frivolous, while depression is the most dignified energy of all.
Student: I am not very satisfied. You say it is an energy bank. How do you get the money from the bank? Or does it just stay in the vault?
CTR: Well, try to relate to the texture of energy in the situation of depression. Depression is not just something blank, it has all kinds of smart things going on inside. I mean that, basically, depression is extraordinarily interesting and a highly intelligent mental state. That is why you are depressed. Depression is a mental state of dissatisfaction in which you feel you have no way out. So work with the dissatisfaction of that depression. Whatever is inside is extraordinarily powerful. It has all kinds of answers in it, but the answers are hidden. So, in fact, I think depression is one of the most powerful energies. It is an extraordinarily awake energy, although you may feel tired.
Student: Is it because it sweeps everything? Could it be a kind of emptiness, a sort of door to meditation? I mean that in that type of depression there is a feeling that nothing is happening at all.
CTR: That is. That is something quite deep. It has its own textures. Let's say you feel extraordinarily depressed, and there is no point in doing anything. It seems that you are doing the same thing once again. You give up everything, but you can't leave it. And in general, you are extremely depressed and trying to do something is repetitive. And trying not to do something is also irritating. Why would you do something? The entire company is absolutely insignificant. You feel extremely heavy. Trying to get involved in the things that inspired you generates more depression, because you used to have fun with them and you can't do it anymore. That is very depressing, and everything is really ordinary, extremely ordinary and very real, and you don't want anything to do with it. It is an extraordinary weight that crushes you. You begin to experience that the ceilings are heavier than they used to be, and the floor becomes much heavier than it was before. There is an entire wall made of lead, compressing you everywhere; There is no way out at all. Even the air you breathe is metallic, or lead, or very dense. There is no freshness at all. Everything that depression brings is really, really real and very heavy. And you can't get out of there because the idea of getting out brings more depression, so you're constantly bottled and pushed into that situation and would just like to sit around.
Student: Well, if everything gets worse, then just trying to escape, which seems the only answer, is a suicidal act. Things become very heavy and very slow. Seeing inspiring friends, who used to be inspiring friends, becomes depressing. When you try to play a record of the music that used to inspire you, it also brings depression. And yet nothing moves. Everything is black, absolute black.
CTR: But, at the same time, you are experiencing tremendous texture, the texture of how samsara stagnation works, which is fantastic. You feel the texture of something. That entertainment did not work. This entertainment did not work. Referring to the past did not work; projecting to the future did not work. Everything is made of texture, so you could experience depression in a very smart way. You could relate to her completely, entirely. And once you begin to relate to it as a texture of some kind, as a real and solid situation that contains tremendous textures, tremendous smells, then depression becomes a beautiful path. We can't really discuss it. We have to, in fact, get into a strong depression and then feel about that.
Student: Join with depression.
CTR: Yes, you become depression.
Student: What about extreme physical panic or discomfort, nausea, headache, thinking that you're going out of that state, and sometimes sweat, cold sweat, shortness of breath where you can't breathe?
CTR: It seems to be psychosomatic. According to the Buddhist way of seeing physical health, any disease that arrives is one hundred percent, if not two hundred percent, psychosomatic. Always.
Student: So you just keep coming back to that point?
CTR: Yes, back to the mind, back to the heart. There is a Zen writing called "Trust in the heart." You should read it.
Student: So what you are saying is that all that I experience and all that I think of as "I experience" is really the buddha mind experiencing itself?
CTR: Yes, without fear. That is the roar of the lion. That is roar of lion. *
* According to Ch gygyam Trungpa Rinpoche, the roar of lion is the brave proclamation that anything that arises in our mental state, including powerful emotions, is workable.
Politics with Ch gygyam Trungpa Rinpoche: depression as a highly intelligent state
