Translated by Maribel González
“Dear Saint-Germain, I would like to understand the purpose of my Soul in this life, and if I can fulfill it while remaining in my current marriage. I want to know if this relationship has been nothing but a huge sacrifice for me, and if it is avoiding me from fulfilling my full potential.
I tend to depend on the opinion of others, so it is difficult for me to reach an independent conclusion on this matter. But the fact is that I have stopped "giving my all" to this relationship, and I am repressing myself. I love my husband, but I feel totally dependent and unable to transform this situation for good. I want to be free. You can help?"
My friend, I AM Saint-Germain
The purpose of your Soul in this life is to create and commit to interdependent relationships, instead of falling into dependent ones and then having to free yourself. This means that problems will arise to define your personal limits, establish your responsibilities towards yourself and your partner, and learn to express yourself with care and honesty, but without repressing your feelings.
In addition, your Soul is committed to developing and using your talents and creativity to the fullest. You are awakening your desire to make a concrete contribution to the world, instead of just dreaming about it or playing with the possibilities. As you move forward with this, you will want to stimulate your growing sense of individuality and express your wonderful ideas and inspiration. Just remember that as you do it, you are doing it in support of Everything That Is and not just for you. This is the essence of interdependence.
Aligning with the Purpose of Your Soul.
In your specific case, when you feel aligned with the purpose of your Soul, you will not confuse your desire for freedom with a need to escape difficult circumstances. You will discover that self-limiting beliefs and doubts no longer hold you back, and that you feel motivated to express yourself more. You will enjoy interacting with others including your husband in an honest way, and you will see that your enjoyment of freedom is complemented by your willingness to commit yourself to yourself first, and then with the people you care about most. You will find your greatest freedom in the depth of the commitment you make to yourself and to those you love.
When you feel that you are not aligned with the purpose of your Soul, then you may discover feelings of alienation, dependence, or insecurity hidden within you. For example, you might find yourself doubting yourself or criticizing yourself and your abilities, or if not doubting and criticizing others in your life, including your husband. When you feel this way, it could create tendencies for you to get angry and move away emotionally from your important relationships to regain your sense of freedom. However, on the other hand it can cause you to work harder to please others by cooperating more, to get the validation you need. If you are not clear about what is happening, then you will swing between these two extremes, without ever finding any lasting peace.
Nútrete, Then Let You Be
What you are encouraged to do now is to let go of the negative trends and trust that your inner guide will solve this situation. The problem you face in your marriage is this: Your anxiety about who will take care of you is leading you from unnecessary sacrifice to further cooperation, to feeling resentful of being exploited and then seeking independence in a rebellious manner. Instead of swinging like that, why not take a different approach? Why not see what nourishes, instead?
What I mean by this?
Well, my friend, when you feel nurtured inside - that is, when you love and fully accept yourself - then you will feel safe and secure in the depths of your being. This will allow your anxiety about relationships to calm down and comfort. And as a consequence of this blessing, you will be less likely to fall into dependence on others, followed by rebellion laden with anger and resentment.
It is very important that you now experience the affectionate, sensitive and nurturing side of you. This is the part of you that feels things deeply, and yet you have trouble expressing it. It is important that you allow this because it has the key to your well-being. Yes, nurturing yourself now will help you much more than you could imagine: It will help you heal the wounds of the past; it will allow you to be more self-sufficient in the present; and little by little it will replace your fear of the future with a deeper trust in the Daughter of God that you really ARE.
About Interdependent Love.
When it comes to your relationship with your husband, it will be important for you to recognize what you appreciate about it. Look, part of your soul's purpose in this life is to learn to appreciate a different kind of love. It is to learn that the peace and lasting comfort of interdependent love - a love that is freely shared between couples - is preferable to the passion and drama of clashing wills or the intensity of impulsive desires in a relationship.
It is important for you to find ways to calm down, release tension, and allow all forms of beauty and harmony in your relationship. As you grow into a more balanced capacity for interdependence, instead of the oscillation between sacrifice and rebellion, you will discover the joy that a deep commitment can bring to your life.
What you have to understand now, is that you will create the freedom you want from the inside first - through a deeper commitment to nurture yourself. This inner foundation will give you the freedom to BE and express EVERYTHING You Are, even in the most intimate environments. And this is what interdependence is all about.
Certainly, I AM Saint-Germain.
