In the most difficult moments of my life I have wondered if this is really worth it. In the moments where I have only heard my own crying I have wondered if it is good to bare the soul. In times of crisis I have wondered if it is worth bringing more children to the world. In the moments of greatest uncertainty I have wondered if there is someone on the other side who can help me. In the moments of greatest darkness I have wondered, if my will would be enough to take me away from this world. And in the end one more question has jumped: If I were about to leave this world Would I stay? Would you like to come back?
Although I do not bring wounds since I do not carry great pains in the soul (because for some reason I have always been accompanied, cared for and protected), I have asked myself many questions, I have asked myself questioned and I have doubted. And one day all the answers came at once.
Almost in a second I understood that this life is worth it because the happiness of the brief moments and the magical fusion between the human beings that we relate to, is born precisely in sadness, in pain and in The anguish of playing and losing. Happiness is the opposite of sadness and that's why they go together wherever they want, and trying to separate them is wasting time. So I understood that because of those brief episodes of happiness, we ask to be born here.
And then I imagine that there is a long line of beings of light, totally pure of heart, filling out some forms to enter a raffle that will allow them to win a ticket to be born on Earth. Gradually a heavenly voice mentions the privilege-winning beings and they will embrace each other before the trip. Some time later they will be born. Their mission will be complex and they will need large doses of love for themselves (more than anything) to live here. Some of them will represent dark, sinister, strange, distant, sad characters. Some others will represent bright, full, friendly, close, cheerful characters. Both groups will represent unity and whatever happens will never be separated because they are part of the same. The slogan of the luminous group will be: to observe the world within itself, be as it is and will prevail.
When the being of light wrapped in a physical body touches this dimension, it experiences pain in the soul and begins to live (sometimes) completely forgetting who it is and who are the other beings around it. And so in the midst of his own battles he begins his work of light, which will always have as its axis, his life, his soul, his heart, which is the virtual space where all the human experience occurs. Point.
After all this explanation arises from somewhere for me, I understand that we are here to learn to strip the soul, that each birth is one more opportunity for the human species, that help comes integrated into the spiritual body, than the will to The thinking mind is not enough to leave all this behind and that if the mind that sometimes controls everything has the power to decide my return to the light, surely I would want to return here (I speak for myself).
So I understood that this life is worth it, that tears are also sowing and that laughter is harvest, that recognizing one's fragility is a sign of loyalty, that life is taking equal value for successes and mistakes, as well as the falls that allow us to observe the earth from another angle, due to stagnations and setbacks that are only another way forward. So I understood that we are here because a woman in a unique act of conscious (or unconscious) love gave us the possibility of living and knowing each other, that life is beautiful even if some dreams seem to break and I say that they seem to break because they never break, just they transform into stardust, which you will use again and again to recreate yourself and to make more dreams, more moments, more fantasies and more realities.
You are that reality for me and although I am far from perfect, I love my rhythm, my cadence, my hurry and my calm, my doubt and my certainty, I love having discovered that I know nothing and that in the midst of all this, I love myself in you.
I have finally stopped asking myself questions and have even stopped wondering why I wonder why. Now I recognize perfection in what it is.
Today is July 20, a very special day for me. I celebrated the independence of Colombia, my native country and celebrated that on the same day during the traditional parade, in a town on the Colombian north coast, my dad was walking qepd, when he saw my mother for the first time and was dazzled by its beauty, as well as her with the elegance of him.
Thank you for reading.
© All rights reserved. Vivi Cervera 2012.
To celebrate I leave you with a wonderful exponent of Colombian music and in my opinion one of the best Latin American artists and singers. Petrona Martínez, a woman who, in the midst of the joy of bullerengue and the warmth of her home, seems to forget that she has traveled the world with her music and has been deservedly applauded by those who appreciate her art, to sing with that air of freedom. I think the video says it all. Thank you Petrona, for teaching me with your innate wisdom, with your mastery, with your singing, with your smile and with your spirit, that life is beautiful and worthwhile.
[youtube] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnBrxD_XZlI [/ youtube]
