Table of contents hide 1 The exercise was this: 2 You must do 3 things: 3 4 (2) Burn the cards 5 When all your attention is focused on your breathing do this: 6 Exercise: Healing the relationship with our parents
How is the relationship with your mother, with your father? Distant? With reproaches? Balanced? Little free? Dependent? Have you ever thought about how you relate to them?
I think that the imprint left by our parents in our personality, as well as the behavior patterns that they set us without realizing since we were little, is so transcendent for our lives that it is convenient to do a work of deep personal inquiry, at least to realize those burdens, which we all absolutely carry, understand them and be able to redeem them.
On a day like today, Father's Day, in which I already feel that many painful aspects of my relationship with mine are healing, it seems like an ideal time to talk to you about a healing ritual, a rite of reconciliation that we It can come very well to all those moms who strive to be conscious mothers .
Because as Daniel Gabarró says, a spiritual sherpa I follow, when you reconcile with your mother and father, you regain your freedom.
Some time ago I made a very interesting course of Systemic Pedagogy, a pedagogical current that is based on the theory of systems and communication, in the constructivism and in the phenomenological paradigm referred to the orders of love of Bert Hellinger.
One of the first tasks we had to do in this course was an exercise in recognition before our parents.
The exercise was this:
I had a hard time doing it. I felt forced, unnatural.
Still in full emotional fusion with my daughter, I was just in a moment of total re-evolution in which I was also performing, as a patient, Laura Gutman's Human Biography (BH) Construction therapy, a brief therapy based on Emotional reconstruction of the life of the person who is deeply revealing.
Then I was going through a phase of silent anger with my parents, because by reconstructing the map of my life I became aware and understood many things in my family system that until then had kept hidden, or had not wanted to see.
For me BH therapy was as if suddenly someone turned on the light and could see on the table all the operating mechanisms that were moving the threads of my adult life and my family.
So the exercise of honoring my father and my father did not come at the best time. However, months later, after the rage and the absurd search for guilty parties, the real understanding came.
I understood that if I signed peace with them, I would get inner peace, otherwise I would live in an endless war, which was actually a war inside me.
So I did this healing ritual with my parents, which was a before and after for me, and released some of my shadow.
I guarantee that this ritual can change the way you understand and interact in your life, not only with your parents, with your partner, with your children, with others. Will not leave you indifferent. I encourage you to try it.
You must do 3 things:
(1) The letter
Write 2 independent letters. One to your mother and one to your father. In them you must capture:
* Everything you needed and didn't get
* Everything you wanted to tell them and you didn't dare
* Everything you wanted to change and you couldn't
* Everything you couldn't stand
* All pending issues
It is about writing a letter for each of them in which you give yourself permission to open the gate of frustrations and repressed things inside.
Do it with delivery. With sincerity, without cheating, without fear. Don't shut up anything. It doesn't matter if ugly things, or insults, or anger or sadness appear
If you do not express the negative, it is encysted within you.
There is no hurry to finish them, you can spend several days on this task if you need it.
Something that you must be very clear in this ritual is that these letters are private, only yours. No one should read them, for any reason, much less your parents.
(2) Burn the cards
Put both cards together and burn them in a container where you can keep the ashes.
Then put the ashes in a bag.
(3) Visualization exercise
Find a place of beautiful nature, which you especially like, where you can spend a few minutes of meditation.
When all your attention is focused on your breathing do this:
Visualize your mother, turned into a two or three year old girl who comes to this beautiful place. She is a very small girl, innocent and helpless. Talk to her, ask her how her childhood is, how they take care of her, what fears she has, what she needs, realize that she is also a child to helpless and who has been a victim of his surroundings. When you can see her tenderly, kiss her and let her go.
Visualize now that your father arrives, become the boy of two or three years he was . Look at him lost and helpless, innocent, tender. Realize that you have been a victim of your surroundings. Ask him what he needs to be happy, how adults treat him, what his life is like When you can see him with tenderness (you can kiss him, cradle him), then Stop him and let him go or, if you wish, make it very small and enter it into your heart.
Before finishing the meditation, focus your attention again on the breath and imagine that you are going through, as if you were a ray of white light, time and you project yourself happily and noticing the love and energy that you are, in the future.
At the end of the meditation, look for a beautiful corner to deposit the ashes of the cards. If you wish you can draw with your finger a heart or a bird that flies free using the ashes as paint.
It is a very intense healing ritual and as I have told you of great importance for you. I encourage you to try it, it is another step towards connected and conscious life.
Source: http://www.demicasaalmundo.com/
Exercise: Healing the relationship with our parents
