Table of contents hide 1 DO NOT hide the topic 2 It depends on age 3 How to help you 4 If there is no other option 5 When you are teenagers 6 Questions 7 Custody 8 Seek help 9 Divorce: How to Talk to your Child
Facing divorce is never easy, even more if there are children involved. This long and difficult process almost always generates painful consequences for children emotionally, such as poor school performance, low self-esteem and rebellion. Our children cannot understand that the love between their parents is over, they cannot separate that the love of husbands is very different from the love that unites them.
If you are going through this moment and your son or daughter has become rebellious, you must be patient, communication is essential.
Remember that despite being a sensitive issue, a divorce does not have to be extremely harmful for a child, if certain measures and precautions to protect it are taken into account.
DO NOT hide the subject
The worst thing that can be done is to hide the problem from your child or do the paperwork silently to finally tell him that his parents are already divorced.
The divorce must be, at some point explicitly touched by both parents. The ideal, according to specialists, is that both father and mother promote this dialogue with their child and that they explain their reasons, making it absolutely clear that he is not at all guilty of what happened.
It depends on the age
Not in all families will children react in the same way, it all depends on the relationship between all its members and the age of the offspring. The latter is fundamental.
Parents should find a way to reach their child and be sure to send a message to reassure him . When the time comes to speak do it without blaming yourself, without altering, without provoking an argument.
How to help
To help you understand what is happening, speak sincerely, that the love between your parents is not the same, that many times the way you love each other has some changes.
That it is important, to live as a couple, to agree on important things and that for that reason, both have decided to live separately.
Here it is vital that they emphasize that even if one of the parents must move, the bond of parents to children is never broken and that they will remain united for life.
If there is no other option
If there is no longer a feeling that unites them as husbands and they have tried therapy to solve their problems without obtaining results, the best thing is that they do not back down, for not wanting to cause a shame to the children.
It will never be healthy to bear the other without love . Surely at the least indicated moment they will explode in some disagreement, affecting in a more serious way the tranquility of the children.
When they are teenagers
If the children are no longer children, the situation could become more delicate, because at this age, they are more aware of what is happening and will have a wider battery of questions and questions that escape their logic.
Even divorce can affect their vision and concept of trust, loyalty and love, by becoming somewhat skeptical about the existence of these values.
You have to be very careful because teenagers from divorced parents could become young people who doubt their ability to marry or maintain a romantic relationship.
At this age they can experience loneliness, depression and guilt, it can even lead them to risky behaviors, such as the use of alcohol and other drugs or make them promiscuous.
The questions
In both cases, if the child is a teenager or a child, one must be prepared for the following questions: “Where will I live, with whom, will I change my home, school, will I continue to see my friends?”.
As far as possible, you have to give the answers to all your questions, to calm it down.
Of course, clarify that even if he changes his house, the father who does not live with him will always be when he (she) needs it. That both parents will never be separated from their needs.
Specialists recommend that if the child or children are under 5 years of age, no major changes are made in matters of home and school.
The custody
Here both parents should talk and agree on what is the healthiest for the child. Generally if they are very small they should continue next to the mother. However, whatever the case may be, they should avoid fighting for the children, trying to earn it with gifts or money, never putting it against the other parent.
Neither parent should use the child as a hostage to get something from the other parent (from the ex). Let's not talk badly about the other, in front of our children, if one of them has not forgotten the other, do not get sad in front of the child.
To look for help
Remember that this is a complex process, you have to understand that they are not
The former will not even be the last to go through a divorce, so you can look for help groups. It is not best to face it alone, talk to other people who have gone through the same situation and find your inner strength to face it in the best way, for your and your family's well-being.
Source: http://saludnatural.biomanantial.com/divorcionacomo-hablar-con-tu-hijo/
Divorce: How to Talk to Your Son
