Table of contents hide 1 Here are the five most common regrets. 2 1. I wish I had the courage to live a true life with myself, not the life that others expected me to live. 3 4 2. I wish I hadn't worked so much. 5 3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings 6 4. I wish I had been more in touch with my friends 7 5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier 8 5 regrets of the dying - by Bonnie Ware For many years I worked in the area of ​​palliative care. My patients were those who were sent home to die there. We share some incredibly special moments. I was with them the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate the growth capacity of others. Some changes were phenomenal. Each of them experienced denial, fear, anger, regrets, more denial and finally acceptance. However, all the patients found their peace before leaving, everyone! When asked if they had any regrets or if they had done something differently, the same issues arose over and over again.

Here are the five most common regrets.

1. I wish I had the courage to live a true life with myself, not the life that others expected me to live.

This was the most common of regrets. When people understand that their life is ending and they look back clearly, it is easy to see how many dreams have not been fulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that this was due to the choices they made and those they did not take. It is very important to try and honor at least some of the dreams that arise along the way. From the moment you lose your health, it is already too late. Health brings a freedom that few understand until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so much.

This is what all the male patients you care for say. They lost the youth of their children and the company of their partners. Women also have this regret. But since the majority belonged to the older generation, many of the patients had not provided bread in their homes. All the men he cares regretted having spent so much of their lives earning a living. If they had simplified their lifestyle and made conscious choices in life, it might have been possible not to need as much income as they thought necessary. And by creating more space in their lives, they would have been happier and would have been more open to new opportunities, which would have been better for their new lifestyle.

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings

Many people repressed their feelings to keep the peace with others. Many diseases arose as a result of their bitterness and resentment. As a result, they led a mediocre existence and never became what they were truly capable of being. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you behave, if you speak honestly, in the end that elevates the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Whether that happens or you leave an unhealthy relationship in your life, in either case you win.

4. I wish I had been more in touch with my friends

Often they had not truly understood all the benefits that old friends provided until they were in their last weeks of life and it was no longer possible to march back. Many had cut themselves so much in their own lives that they had set aside the gold of old friends. There were many deep regrets about not giving the old friends the time and effort they deserved. When they were dying they all missed their friends. It is very common in all those who lead a very busy lifestyle, leaving friends aside. But when you face a death that approaches you, the details of physical life fade away. People want to have their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that is of real importance to them. They want to have things in order more for the benefit of those they love. But generally they are too sick and worried to be able to handle these tasks. In the end everything is summed up in love and relationships. It is all that remains in the last weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier

This is a surprisingly common remorse. Many do not understand until the end that happiness is a choice. They had remained trapped in old patterns and habits. The so-called "comfort" had flooded his emotions as well as the psychology of their lives. The fear of change made them show off to others and to themselves, that they were happy. When deep inside them was the desire to laugh heartily and put some zoncera in their lives again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long distance from your mind. How wonderful it would be to let go and smile again, without pretensions or demands, before dying! Life is a choice. It is still time ...

5 regrets of the dying - by Bonnie Ware