In a workshop I taught recently we talked about attachment in relationships but without really deepening it, and now I want to tell you something more about it.

A friend there mentioned at that moment that love hurts, and I replied that it is attachment that hurts, love is free.

Attachment is not love, it is true that when we love we want to share more time with the person object of our affection, but love is also freedom, it is to be glad that the being we love is fine although It is not by our side. We are glad to know that she is not needy beings just as we are not.

When we talk about being a needy person, it is because she searches outside of herself what she can really find inside but ignores it or does not know how to do it, so she goes through life looking to fill that inner void .

So let's not confuse one thing with the other in the first place. Love can become a commitment to coexistence, to share things in common, a life can exist companionship and therefore the mutual commitment becomes an accompaniment if you as They want it by mutual agreement. Love accepts that every person be as he really is. Links are decisions that are not always related to love. If the love you give does not give it to you, then that love is not real.
Attachment is based on selfish beliefs more related to need. Attachment and dependence are more like slavery than love. We stop being free by our own decision and try to take away the freedom of the other. We are responsible for our situations of attachment and dependence, and as we create it we can also change it.

Attachment and dependence are more linked to dominion, oppression, submission, and yoke. It is not based on trust but on fear. When we depend on someone we live in fear.

Attachment is rooted in our fear of loneliness, of unworthiness, of devaluation. Love starts first with love for oneself, which is the only way to love others. If you have love in your heart, you will find all hearts full of love.

Attachment and dependence is healed through love for one and if that love is not achieved because we do not feel it, we do not value ourselves, we begin to heal our inner child that is where the wounds of abandonment, loneliness, of mistreatment, there are all our memories of being unlovable, and valuable.

It is not necessary to change partners, what you have to change are your attitudes, your decisions and above all love you. It is not the place to be corrected outside. It is through you that you will produce change in your life. Start by loving your inner child, to pamper and provide security.

Remember that the outside is only the reflection of you, of your beliefs and beliefs and you attract to your life what is in you.

Who has to change is you, you are the cause, the world, your relationships, will be the effect and therefore will also be transformed. Of course, change the concept you have of yourself and without expectations, how miracles happen.

Do not fear change because change is an automatic function of existence and there is nothing to do to avoid it. Adaptation to change and detachment go hand in hand, but if you resist, this brings you suffering. Welcome change with confidence and everything will be for good.

You are the caterpillar that turns into a butterfly, do like her, let go of the attachments to welcome the new ...
If you give yourself as much love as you expect from outside, you will stop feeling dependent and let go of attachments and dependence.

Water is purified by flowing.

I love you

Jocelyne Ramniceanu

Source: http://hooponoponoenvenezuela.wordpress.com/2014/09/15/dependencia-apego-amor/

Dependence, attachment, love for Jocelyne Ramniceanu