Guilt and shame are cultural phenomena founded on patriarchy and the paradigm of transcendent truth, that is, on the notion that there is a truth regardless of the observer that we are each of us. .
When we are living in the understanding that there is an objective truth, and therefore a correct way of being and doing, we reject our own desires and preferences, putting what we ought to be at the center of our doing.
Traditionally, guilt arises when I judge that what I do or do, think or think, harm another. And the shame arises when by my doing, or my possible doing, I feel that I can damage my self-image.
When in childhood we live in the repetition of relationships of heartbreak, we begin to create an appearance to be accepted and respected by the world that denies us, and demands results.
When we grow in coexistence with heartbreak, there is a need to make an appearance based on demand and control; We live rendering exams permanently.
And there comes the victim who seeks approval, recognition, love that does not know how to generate
The endearing mother would recognize the creature's wishes, but cultural conditioning and guilt do not allow it.
Said conditioning and guilt will be recreated through:
- The edipization of the unconscious : experienced by the creature as a denial of life. He must separate from his mother to avoid incest, otherwise he will pay with his life and hell. The creature learns to live humiliated in a world where fear and lack prevail. He will listen, from the mouth of his parents, to those who give them absolute authority, what he should do and how it should be so that they want him and accept him; and it will be that language, and the interpretation generated in the listening of that / e girl / or a conditioning that will lead him to fulfill, inevitably, the destiny of the family.
- The punishment : the damage of repression is not just physical damage. We can recognize that our parents beat us up long before we recognized that they did not love us, and much longer than recognizing the suffering caused by heartbreak. Heartbreak expressed through hurtful, humiliating words, said with the aim of correcting a being born, in the judgment of the patriarchy, defective (due to original sin), with abominable desires.
- The Judeo - Christian religion : the first and fourth commandments order and ensure that this being, far from escaping the trap set by the patriarchy, submits. Such submission will be effective through fear. Fear is a factor that blocks intelligence; but then, to reinforce the blockade, the sacred, the taboo, the myth and the religion come modestly covering the conscience; The result of this whole armed scenario makes us buy the story. And, if he wants to intervene, to show some hint of rebellion, there will be the father imposing himself through control; the patriarchal mother with her rigid uterus, insensitive to the needs of the creature, a passive subject, defending the authority of the father; and religion waiting for us with the ticket that, without stops, will lead us to hell.
The consequences of this model, makes the woman generate pathological partners: relationships become neurotic because they have to adapt to the socially established model of the "half orange", which involves the translation of the mother-creature symbiotic primary love. And according to that model we effectively project the libidinal yearning for symbiosis, latent from our primal stage, to the adult couple. Pathological 'attachments' can be varied: tobacco, gambling, drugs, chocolate, compulsive consumerism, sex without desire, possessions, fame, power. It is the insatiable search for lost wellbeing, trying to mitigate the anxiety that flows from the Basic Lack, the lack of primary love.
How to get out of the trap ...
"We can only intervene what we know." The woman needs to be able to hear a different story from the one they told her. As Elizabeth Kubler Ross said: - Today it is not about believing, but about knowing.
And that new story will show that what he heard, what he was told, are judgments, interpretations sustained by a system that takes more than 4000 years, that he no longer even needs to use force to impose because the language used by it generates a reality.
Realize that what you are doing is repeating a speech that does not belong to you and that is in the grip of a destiny that requires you not to deviate from the rules; that to do so, you will pay in some way, for example, with diseases.
You will need to look for your peers. According to Louann Brizendine, females seem to have some reactions to stress, in addition to combat or escape, which allow them to protect themselves and their dependent offspring. One of these reactions may be to rely on social ties. The females of a fixed social group are more inclined to resort to reciprocal help in situations of threat or stress. Females can warn each other within the group in anticipation of the conflict, which allows them to move away from potential danger and continue to safely care for dependent offspring. This norm of conduct is called “take care and look for friendships” and can be a particularly feminine strategy. Caring involves guardianship activities that promote safety and reduce misfortune for the female and her young. Making friends is the creation and conservation of social networks that can help in this process.
Remember that our modern female brain retains the ancient circuits of our most successful ancestors.
Implement programs that allow you to relate to pleasure, creating new mandates. And this can be done through body techniques that allow you to expand your spectrum of possibilities, redesigning your history.
In order to implement the techniques and therapeutics, we will need a consistent theory.
We could start, for example, by telling a new version about the expulsion from Paradise. After all, this story is a trial, there is no evidence (observable facts) to prove its truth. Being then simply a story with a tragic end for humanity, and especially for women, we can who have survived the experience of a patriarchal society, tell something different, that allows us to appropriate our sexuality and enjoy it without guilt ... and make Catalan womb (instead of pito) to the destination.
Guilt and shame, by Elisa Botti
Bibliography:
The repression of maternal desire (Casilda Rodrigañez)
The female brain (Louis Brizendine)
The fault (Fernando Saenz Ford)
Lic. Elisa Botti
Natural Medicines and Naturopathy
Mat. 14028
Professional Member of ASIMEPA (International Association of Medicines and Alternative Psychologies)
Ontological Body Coach
Specialist in Psycho-Corporal Techniques
Blog : http://elisabotti.blogspot.com/
