Let's start with a little exercise. Think about what you need to be happy: a couple, a better job, more money ...? 
| June 14, 2014
Many people believe that if they achieve some of the above objectives they will be happier, but science has shown that it is not so. When we build our happiness based on achievements, the result is very short. We said some time ago that it comforts us to anticipate (hence Friday is the day of the most desired week), however, to the extent that we need to reach a goal to be happy, then s we will need another and so on. Therefore, something escapes us, as Shawn Achor has shown.
Achor has questioned the traditional formula of success (very Calvinist, by the way, but that in the Latin world also camped at ease): `` Work hard and you will have more '' Success, if you have more success, you will be more happy. How many have we thought about it? Well, Achor dismounted this belief the same day he went to study at Harvard. Being accepted by this university is already a success and the result of much, much effort.
Achor hoped to meet colleagues excited about the mere fact of having succeeded, but it was not so. Two weeks after the start of the course, the students did not think about the fate of being at Harvard but about being competent, in the workload, in the high level of demand, in the pressure and maybe Many of us act in the same way thinking that success is the cause of happiness. As Achor suggests, we need to start with a position of advantage over happiness and this is achieved with a brain that works in a positive way .
And how do we get that advantage? We tend to believe that the external predicts our happiness. If we enjoy health, professional success, an economy that allows us to meet our needs, our environment and even ourselves we consider ourselves in the obligation to be happy. But the reality is that the outside world predicts only 10% of our long-term happiness. The other 90% depends on how we process the external, and this is our own decision.
As we have tried other times in this laboratory, the right way to move towards success is to work our level of optimism, our network of contacts to get social support, perceive challenges where others see threats ... These factors have much more weight than others less controllable As academic intelligence.
If we want to be happy, we don't have to focus on what not to do or avoid, but about the things we should do. Researchers like Shawn Achor, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King and Ed Diener, study what to do to be more positive and begin a path where happiness is the starting point and not the goal to reach .
Let's see what we propose to get an advantage of happiness:
* Develop new habits. The work to train our brain in positive thinking, is similar to the work we do to train our body. It may require effort and perseverance, but you don't have to look for complex tasks. To get to think positive we can incorporate very simple little things daily, but very effective that later, over time they become unconscious:
- Find three reasons to be grateful.
- Dedicate a positive message to one of our loved ones.
- Meditate to learn to focus on the important.
- Take a space to think about the positive experiences we have lived during the day.
In an experimental study that Shawn Ancor carried out in 2008 with managers, he saw how those who carried out these tasks for three weeks showed higher levels of life satisfaction and optimism.
* Help the people around us. They can be family, friends, people who are part of our team ... Let's look at something important, we talk about giving support and not about receiving it. Both things are important, but as this researcher showed in 2011, considering what makes us happier the weight of social support we give is greater than that of the social support we receive.
* Change our relationship with stress. Our attitude towards what we consider stressful can change how it affects us. Among the stressors, there are elements that we can control and others that are beyond our control. It is very logical, it only makes sense to focus on the ones we control and take small steps to try to reduce the stress they generate.
As Lyubomirsky's research points out, a positive brain achieves better results, it is more accurate, faster, more productive ... Companies in which positive people work have better business results. People who cultivate a positive mind face challenges much better and this is the advantage of happiness. So we have to strive to reverse the traditional formula of success.
If we find a way to be positive in the present, we will be working on the successes of the future.
References:
Achor, S. (2012). Positive Intelligence Harvard Business Review.
Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. & Diener, E. (2005). The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success ?. Psychological Bulletin.
Shawn Acor intervention in TED in 2011.
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Coaching: Success? Happiness
