Brief note on the accompaniment to terminal patients

  • 2016

As society and the medical system have excluded us from the death process, it is each one's job to live this stage in the best possible way. And unfortunately, when the time comes, we are so bewildered that we don't know what to do or how to do it. We have enough with our emotions to stay focused This formation is also included in my path of self-knowledge; Then life gives me the experiences to practice, either through family and friends, or by volunteering in hospitals.

That is why, when I am asked about what is the best attitude to follow when someone is dying, I look at a couple or three of my favorite books on the subject such as Right to die in peace and with dignity by David Kessler, The Tibetan book of life and death by Sogyal Rimpoch, or About the grief and pain of Elisabeth K bler-Ross and D. Kessler, and I extract this synthesis:

* Self, natural and relaxed so that she (the other person) can die as she has lived, being herself.

* A person about to die needs, above all, to be shown as unconditional love as possible, free from all expectations.

* Put yourself in his place. Imagine that you are lying in bed, dying, facing death.

And ask yourself seriously:

- What do you need most?

- What would I most like?

- What would you really want from the friend who has come to see me?

One possible answer would be "to be truly loved and accepted . "

A highly recommended practice to accompany when words are no longer necessary, is to sit next to that person, look into each other's eyes, synchronize the breaths, caress their hands, and give a gentle massage. Physical contact in some cases, is very grateful.

Practice shows us that sometimes it seems as if "it is difficult for you to leave ..." Then it is worth doing a goodbye live and with voice: Give him permission to die, assure him that you will get ahead after his death, and that he doesn't have to worry about you. And if you can't tell it out loud, repeat it quietly well focused from your heart.

All that remains is to ensure that he can die in silence and with serenity. That is why it is also advisable to leave it alone for a while, from time to time, because the continuous presence of family and friends makes it difficult, in some cases, to leave. When one remains alone with oneself, it is much easier to follow the natural process that all life requires.

The same force that pushed us to be born now drives us to another transit.

And we all stay at peace.

AUTHOR: Assum Fàbregas


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