There is no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you decide so. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but no valid reason. The same is applicable to happines. Happiness is a choice, as is suffering too. (Miguel Ruiz). Domestication and the dream of the planet. Are things as we see them, as we feel them, obviously we interpret what they have taught us to interpret? For the ancient Toltec culture (Mexico) the reality that we assume socially is nothing more than a collective dream, the dream of the planet.
From the moment of birth, we interpret reality through agreements, and so, we agree with the adult world what is a table and what is a dress, but also what is “right” and what is “wrong”, and even who we are or what our place in the world is (in the family, in class, at work). To this process the Mexican philosopher of Toltec origin Miguel Ruiz calls it domestication. “Domestication is so powerful that, at a certain moment in our life, we no longer need anyone to tame us . We don't need mom or dad, school or church to tame us. We are so well trained that we are our own tamer. We are a self-taught animal. ” The judge and the victim. In the course of this learning we incorporate the judge and the victim into our own personality.
The judge represents that tendency in our mind that continually reminds us of the book of the law that governs our life - what is right and what is wrong - rewards us and, more frequently, punishes us. The victim is that part in each person who suffers the demands of their own inner judge. We suffer, we repent, we blame ourselves, we punish ourselves for the same cause over and over again, every time the memory takes its toll. And as a consequence of the system itself, fear is established in our lives.
Fear and self-demands are the worst enemies of our thinking, and therefore, of our life. During the domestication process we form a mental image of perfection, which is not bad as a marked path to follow. “The problem is that since we are not perfect, we reject ourselves. And the degree of rejection depends on how effective adults have been to break our integrity ”, according to MR If the book of the law that governs our life (our morals, our logic, our“ common sense ”) does not meet its objectives, which in its fundamental base would consist of making us human beings happy and in harmony, it is because obviously it does not work. And since it doesn't work, you have to change it. And we do this by reviewing our agreements (our unquestionable interpretation, our value system), unmasking those that are not worth and replacing them with others. Toltec philosophy proposes four basic agreements: "Be impeccable with your words." "Don't take anything personally." "Don't make assumptions." “Always do your best”
1. Be impeccable with the word. Words have a great creative force, create worlds, realities and, above all, emotions.
The words are magical: from nothing and without any matter you can transform anything. Whether we use it as white magic or as black magic depends on each one. With words we can save someone, make him feel good, convey our support, our love, our admiration, our acceptance, but we can also kill his self-esteem, his hopes, condemn him to failure, annihilate him. Even with our own person: the words we verbalize or those we think are creating us every day. Expressions of complaint make us victims; the critics, in arrogant judges; A macho language keeps us in an androcentric world, where man is the measure and the center of all things, and self-victimist disqualifications (poor of me, I do everything wrong, what bad luck I have) defeat us beforehand. If we are aware of the power of our words, of their enormous value, we will use them carefully, knowing that each one of them is creating something. Miguel Ruiz's proposal is, therefore: “Use words appropriately. Use them to share love. Use white magic starting with you. BE IMPECCABLE WITH THE WORD. ”
2. Do not take anything personally. Each person lives his own movie in which he is the protagonist.
Each person faces their own odyssey by living their life and resolving their conflicts and their personal miseries. Everyone wants to survive the collective dream and be happy. And everyone does their best in their circumstances and limitations. Other people are only figurants in that movie that everyone makes of his life, or at most secondary characters. If someone insults me on the street (or I perceive it that way) with almost certainty it has nothing or very little to do with me; It is simply your reaction to something that is happening outside (a bad day with your partner or at work, an argument with your daughter), or more likely inside (worries, anxiety, frustration, impatience, a gastritis or a headache) . The impatience or the demands of your partner, the neighbor of the landing or the cashier of the supermarket, the criticisms of your son or at work, none of that is personal. Everyone is reacting to their own movie. There is a lot of black magic outside, the same as there is within yourself, or me. At any time, at some time in his life, at some time of the day. Everyone is "emotional predators" once in a while. “Taking things personally makes you an easy prey for those predators, the black magicians… You eat all their emotional garbage and turn it into your own garbage.
But if you don't take things personally you will be immune to all poison even if you are in the middle of hell, ”says Miguel Ruiz. Understanding and assuming this agreement gives us enormous freedom. “When you get used to not taking anything personally, you will not need to place your trust in what other people do or say about you. You are never responsible for the actions or words of other people, only for your own. You will say "I love you" without fear of being rejected or ridiculed. " You can always follow your heart. Regarding the opinion of others, for better or worse, it is better not to depend on it. That is another movie. DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY.
3. Do not make assumptions . We tend to make assumptions and draw conclusions about everything. The problem is that in doing so we believe that what we assume is true and we build a reality about it. And it is not always positive or guided by trust or love, but more frequently by fear and our own insecurity. I deduce that someone has been angry with me because he did not respond to my greeting as he crossed us and my mind organizes a whole reality about it. And bridges are broken between the other person and me, difficult to save.
The same with our partner, with the neighbor, with the school. We create realities based on comments or loose elements (when not based on malicious gossip). “The way to avoid assumptions is to ask. Make sure things are clear to you… and even then, don't assume that you know everything about that particular situation, ”Miguel Ruiz insists. Ultimately and if you let yourself be guided by goodwill, you always have the confidence ... and acceptance. Nothing ever happens outside is personal.
But in any case, DO NOT KNOW CONCLUSIONS PRECIPITATELY.
4. Always do your best. The fourth and final agreement allows the other three to become deeply rooted habits: always do your best and do your best. If so, no matter what happens we will accept the consequences willingly. Doing my best does not mean that you and I have to do it in the same way, or even that my response at this time is the same as in another that I feel tired, or I have not slept well, or I feel full of love and Confident and tremendously generous. You could say that in each moment of our life we are different, in some circumstances and with specific limitations.
Sometimes we can respond to what we interpret as a “provocation” with a wry or funny smile, with a sense of humor, or with a challenging laugh, or even screaming. But we can always try to be impeccable with the word, not take it personally and not draw hasty conclusions ... within our physical, emotional and general limitations of each moment. If we try, in the best way we can, it is enough. Truly, to succeed in fulfilling these agreements we need to use all the power we have. So, if you fall, do not judge yourself. Do not give your inner judge the satisfaction of becoming a victim. Simply start again from the beginning.
ALWAYS MAKE YOUR GREATEST EFFORTWith practice it will be easier and easier until, surprise, the identification is practically complete and the four agreements are part of our way of being. We are just like that. No doubt our life will be simpler and more satisfying, for ourselves and for the other people around us. About Miguel Ruiz's book: The four agreements
AUTHOR: Miguel Ruiz
SEEN AT: http://cienciacosmica.net/los-cuatro-acuerdos-miguel-ruiz/
