The importance of the inner mother - The Duel for the Imperfect, the encounter with the Unconditional - by Bethany Webster.

If we think about our personal development, the relationship with our mother serves as a pattern for the relationship with ourselves. As daughters, we absorbed information from our mother about what she felt she was doing to herself, what she felt towards us, and what she felt about the world.

We learned to treat each other in the same way that our mother treated herself.

Our task as conscious women lies in transforming the inner mother into our psyche created from our biological mother with her human limitations in the mother we always needed and wanted.

We can become the mother we always wanted - towards ourselves.

In this way, we are able to accept the limitations of our external mother, because our internal mother becomes the primary mother we can count on, in ways that perhaps we have never been able to count on our external mother. Our mother could only love us in the way that she could love herself. At one point, we must face the fact that our mother could not and will not be able to meet our needs in the way we needed and wanted. This means going through a grieving process. A duel for the way we had to compensate and suffer the maternal wound.

In the grieving process, we have the opportunity to realize the fact that if we felt loved or abandoned it was not our fault. Only then can we abandon the struggle to prove our worth in the world. In the grieving process, we can also have compassion for our mother and the burden she carried.

By healing your inner mother, you transform your life beyond what you can imagine.

In confronting this pain, we can realize that what we thought was our pain is actually part of our mother's pain that we have borne out of love. Now we can choose to leave this burden. In this way, instead of mitigating our sense of guilt, we can feel the confidence in our bodies and in our hearts to develop a sense of authentic fullness and self-esteem.

By becoming the "good enough" mother for ourselves, we free ourselves not only for ourselves, but also for all those who make up our lives.

It is a challenge to recognize before us how we were not loved in our relationship with our mother. By remembering and seeing how loaded and overwhelmed she was, we could think we were the source of her pain. This "guilty daughter" can keep us stuck. One way to release our guilt is by acknowledging the innocence and legitimacy of our children's needs. It is a way to free ourselves from shame and baptize ourselves in our goodness and divinity.

Once we have gone through the duel for ourselves, then we can begin the duel for our mothers and for all women.

The duel replenishes us and strengthens us.

As women, we can heal and give ourselves what our mothers could not give us. We can become our own source. The "bodily pain" of the female collective is healed one by one. And as female body pain heals, the same goes for the pain of the human community. Our own healing is not only a gift for ourselves, it is also for the world.

The mother's wound is a great opportunity.

As we allow ourselves to contact what feels like an ancient, inexhaustible hunger for an inexhaustible mother, we give birth to ourselves in our true identity - the matrix of light - an inexhaustible source, overflowing with love and abundance that does not depend on the circumstances or conditions Then we can live at the service of who we really are - love itself.

Bethany Webster

The importance of the inner mother - The Duel for the Imperfect, the encounter with the Unconditional - by Bethany Webster.