Third Toltec Agreement: 'Don't make assumptions'

It is amazing the little imagination of jealousy, who spend time making assumptions, when it comes to discovering the truth.

- Marcel Proust

At present, with the advancement of telecommunications and technology, the way we interact is in crisis. Therefore, it is imperative that we worry about creating strong and true bonds in our lives.

Welcome, in this third installment we will talk about the third of the Four Toltec Agreements: ' Do not make assumptions '.

This is perhaps one of the greatest challenges that this book poses, because we have adopted the assumption as a way of reading what is happening in reality. However, this reading has proved ineffective, since on more than one occasion it has no relation to what really happens and does nothing but create suffering in ourselves and others.

Our tendency to make assumptions damages our way of relating. They have the power to charge us with emotional poison, and we saw in the previous agreements how that ends.

Assumptions as a personal dream

Miguel Ruiz says that we are all owners of a dream, an idea of ​​the world that has no basis in reality. And therefore we don't have the ability to see things as they really are.

We are, in reality, interpreter beings of everything. We pass all information that comes to us from the world around us through a filter that we have built throughout our lives. And many times, that filter completely obscures reality. Assumptions are a manifestation of that filter.

Then, we react against that filter, against that portion of altered information that we create in our imagination.

However, this agreement is presented as a great challenge. We know the bad thing about making assumptions, the problem it means at the communication level and the damage it can cause. Why does it cost us so much, then, to change the way we operate in the world?

Humility in interpretation

And we have assumed that all we believe is the truth, which is in turn a lack of humility. We do not need to ask to " realize " what is happening. We are also accustomed to breathing emotional poison on a daily basis. This is why we are not surprised by the consequences that assumptions have in our day to day.

It is our need to know the one that guides us, but it has erred the way. Now he doesn't seek to know, but to feel that he knows . Showing that he knows. So we will keep the first answer that seems to us that fairly explains the facts . And in this sense, we also tend to repeat the same patterns when choosing “ our truth ”. For example, the pessimist will be one whose pattern of assumptions tend to lead him to where nothing goes well.

We assume that we are

The assumptions we make about ourselves, those of the type " this happens to me because I am like that ", are also a great source of personal conflicts . And the other half of these conflicts is taken by the assumption " if I had done things differently, this would not have happened ."

None of these statements have a basis in reality. But we created them to also explain our own dissatisfaction, our lack.

We feel lack because we are initially incomplete beings . Lack is part of our nature . Only a search compromised by the true can make sense of that lack, and the assumptions are the opposite of that search .

The search for answers

Asking suppositions are eliminated . If you think someone did something for some reason, ask him. Your answer may surprise you. Give up that idea that you have the power to know the truth just because it crosses your mind.

Remove the assumptions from above. They don't do you good, or favor your relationships. Give up gossip, it is a form of mass assumption production.

The author of the book tells us that by ceasing to assume we can also become impeccable with our words. That is the agreement first.

But to be impeccable with words we must also incorporate the other three.

Don't suppose, and look for the truth.

AUTHOR: Lucas, editor in the great family of HermandadBlanca.org

Sources: 'The Four Agreements', by Miguel Ruiz