Emotional suffering: How it originates, how to detect it and strategies to begin to overcome pain
“From suffering arise the strongest souls. The strongest characters are plagued with scars. ”
- Jalil Gibran
We are surrounded by reminders of how wonderful it is to live, love and know. However, we have not been told what we have proven throughout all our years: that life is complex . That people get hurt, prices go up, time goes by.
Living can also be very demanding for us. The wear of energy that the routine and the different events of life cause us can accumulate until we have no place to draw strength. Emotional suffering can be imbalancing and devastating.
When did we lose our way in our path? What about our dreams and our aspirations throughout our existence? And to what extent are we to blame for our life not being the fairy tale we profess as children?
Well, a determining factor when weighing the meaning that life has for us is the way we go through situations that cause us emotional suffering, and therefore, how exhausting it is.
We are going to talk now about emotional suffering, how to detect it, how to fight it and how to learn to live with a world that changes, and a life that refuses to accommodate our standards.
Recognizing emotional suffering
What makes one experience positive and another negative? The answer to that question is the emotions that these experiences wake us up . Without emotions, our life would have no nuances, it would be gray and flat, it would have no taste. We could not enjoy a movie, book or company. We would not have favorite activities, we could not feel fulfilled in peace, happy, or excited. We measure everything with emotions. They have so much power over us that it is they who direct our thinking and constantly act .
When an experience awakens us very strong negative emotions, it is when we talk about emotional suffering .
Did you know that neuroimaging research states that in a circumstance of emotional pain and physical pain, the brain areas that are involved are the same ? The effects are also closely related.
The big problem is that unlike physical pain, the wound of emotional suffering is not in sight. And if it's not in sight, it means it can be hidden .
Hiding the root of our pain underground is not a good idea, since its germination and growth determines that sooner or later it will reach the surface . And when it does, already large and developed, we will need much more strength to deal with it.
Emotional suffering has the ability to feed back, that is, to constitute a vicious circle. That is why we sometimes feel that we cannot escape. However, whenever it rained, it stopped.
Causes of emotional suffering
The suffering we feel today is rooted in an event that happened in the past. The emotions that this event caused us were so strong that it takes us time to deal with them. Especially since we often prefer to cover that event with other things, hoping that if we don't pay too much attention, choose to leave peacefully. On the other hand, we yearn for the future moment when that emotion has disappeared and we can finally live happily ever after.
However, living carrying that emotion often makes us uphill, and usually, it insists on not wanting to leave on their own. Therefore, that future moment becomes increasingly distant and frustrating, and we feel that we are emotionally slowed in time . Life goes on but we stay somewhere in the middle.
Either way there is an interesting point to mark on this. We said that one is charged with emotional suffering that arose in the past, and is frustrated waiting for a utopian future that does not come. So, one of the things that is happening in that process is that the present moment is being completely neglected . The famous Here and Now .
Not being able to live in the present is what causes one to see the days go by while being caught between two times that are not current, that are not existing at this time. Rescuing the present moment, one begins to deal with the emotional suffering that one feels and thus begins to trace our life.
It is never too late to start living the present.
Indicators that emotional suffering is suffered
It is not only time that heals wounds, it is also necessary to work to recognize the pain and the situation that generates it.
While all people are unique and unrepeatable, there are many indicators that are loaded with emotional suffering that are universal and are equally for everyone.
One of the most common indicators in this regard is irritability, which is expressed as anger that is difficult for us to handle. You become much more likely to get angry about small things, and that brings you frequent discussions and conflicts with others.
This anger also takes time to leave your system.
Another indicator that comes from the previous one is that your social relationships become more unstable . It is hard for you to pay attention to others and see their positive qualities, since their defects are more visible to you in your emotional state. It is common that you start to spend more time alone than accompanied, but the truth is that you do not find comfort either .
In addition, you gradually begin to neglect your person . Your eating habits are impaired, as are the hours of sleep and that translates into greater weight in your emotional suffering . In this situation is when you start to run the risk of falling into vices that are harmful to health, such as alcohol, drugs or sick relationships. As a result, you gradually begin to neglect your appearance and hygiene .
All this refers to the little value you give yourself.
Also, fatigue is present at all times of your daily routine. This manifests both physically and mentally. Emotional suffering can be a black hole for your daily energy .
You also begin to live with a constant sense of hopelessness . It is the vivid manifestation of giving up. The frustration caused by the feeling that you are not moving leads you to believe that there is nothing that can be done about it.
The good news is that this and everything, emotional suffering can be overcome if a routine of favorable behaviors is established.
Overcoming emotional suffering
Fundamentally it is important that you are not so critical of yourself, as this will never help you recover. You must be patient and treat yourself with love, as you would with a friend who is going through a situation like yours .
Crying is fine. No one is perfect, and bad things happen to all of us . it is the law of life.
In addition, sooner or later it is necessary to accept that you will find many people who will not be able to understand the moment you are going through . Not everyone is empathic and sensitive. But it is not necessary for everyone to listen to you and help to begin to overcome your pain.
Also, you will also learn to value those people who are really there to help you and accompany you in this difficult time. Think that if there are people who really care about you, then something good must have done before .
Little by little, you can join forces to inquire into the reason for your suffering . Many times the reason for the pain is not as obvious as you think. But if you can't find it, you can hardly find a solution .
Again, I take this opportunity to recommend the exercise of meditation and mindfulness . This practice can lead you to establish a dialogue with yourself and thus get to know you. Try it
Either way, never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help if you think you can't go out alone. That can be the difference between constant suffering and a life in peace.
Emotional suffering can be terrible, but it can also be overcome at any stage of your life.
Never lose sight of that.
AUTHOR: Lucas, editor of the great family of HermandadBlanca.org