Exploring your internal wounds We have highlighted four stages in the transformation from ego-based awareness to heart-based awareness:
1. Be dissatisfied with what the ego-based consciousness has to offer you, yearn for 'something else': the beginning of the end.
2. Begin to be aware of your ties to ego-based awareness, recognize and release the emotions and thoughts that go with it: half of the end.
3. Allow the old energies based on the ego to die within you, eliminating the cocoon, being your new being: the end of the end.
4. The awakening within you of the heart-based consciousness, motivated by love and freedom; Help others make the transition.
In this chapter we will discuss step 2.
When you stop identifying yourself with the ego, at first you are in a state of confusion about who you are. This confusion can be very deep and philosophical in nature. You ask yourself questions about the meaning of life, about good and evil, about what you really feel and think as opposed to what others think you feel and think. These questions are suddenly very real to you and have a direct relationship in the life choices you make. You look at yourselves and think: is this me? Is this what I want? It's hard to make choices now, since nothing else is self-evident.
In reality, you are now taking a step backwards, a step deep inside: a step inside. You begin to be aware of deeper parts of you, parts that are less conditioned by your education and by your society. You get glimpses of who you really are: your uniqueness, your individuality. Remember that there is a part of you that is not dependent on anything around you, your parents, your jobs, your relationships, or even your body. This happens when - vaguely - you feel your divinity, the part of you that is completely unlimited and eternal.
Actually, you are all multidimensional beings: you can (and do) manifest yourself in several different realities at the same time. You are not linked to a linear time frame. Your current personality is only one aspect of the multidimensional entity that you are. Whenever you realize that your current expression as a physical human being is simply an aspect of you, you will go beyond it and may come into contact with the Higher Self that you are.
But before you achieve this, you need to heal the wounded parts within you.
Living according to the mandates and demands of the ego has created psychological wounds within you. Letting go of ego-based awareness initially creates confusion, doubts and disorientation.
After this first step, you enter a new stage: it is the stage of observing, understanding and healing your internal wounds. Now we will talk about this stage.
With the ego in control, for a good time your actions and thoughts have been based on fear. Somehow, you have ruthlessly pursued your desire for power, recognition and control. In this, you have denied your own nature. Their behavior has been based on external models instead of being based on their own true needs. Furthermore, you have not been able to really love someone else, since love is completely opposed to the need to control or dominate.
This whole state of consciousness constituted an attack on the integrity of their souls. The soul suffered under the reign of the ego.
When you get rid of the grasp and influence of the ego, this internal pain becomes more visible to you. It is exposed to you - naked and in living flesh - stripped of masks. However, they still do not know how to deal with this pain, since they are still in a stage of confusion and disorientation. Very often, you go to a stage of judging your internal wounds, because they seem to lead you to negative behavioral models: addiction, depression, uncontrollable impulses, communication problems, difficulties in intimate relationships.
Thus, self-criticism inflicts more pain on the soul, who has just begun to turn towards the Light. She is letting go of the need for power and control, she is becoming more sensitive and then catches up with the autocratic.
Many people are wandering in this non-human territory between the ego and the heart. They are looking for a more loving reality, but they are still within reach of the scourges of the ego.
Actually, it is not your internal wounds that make you fall prey to what you consider `` negative traits '' in yourself. It is his self-criticism of wounds that causes negativity. If you observe yourself with an attitude of acceptance, you will not see an addicted, depressed or unsuccessful person. You only see internal pain that needs to be monitored and cared for in the most gentle and kind manner possible.
The most important step in stage two of the transition from the ego to the heart is that you are wanting to understand your inner pain: accept it, understand its origins, and Let it be.
If you can perceive the core of fear that is inherent in all ego-based expressions of consciousness, you have entered into the reality of heart-based consciousness. No matter how reprehensible someone's behavior is, if you recognize the pain, loneliness and need of self-protection underneath, you come into contact with the soul that is displaying negative behavior. As soon as you perceive the soul in fear, you are able to forgive.
This is what first and foremost happens in relation to yourselves.
Take something from yourself that you really hate. Something that really embarrassed them and what they think they should have freed time back. It can be insecurity, laziness, impatience, or an addiction: something that you feel shouldn't be there. Now try to understand the real motive behind this trait or tendency. What forces you to feel or do this over and over again? Can you perceive an element of fear within your motivations?
You realize that as soon as you understand that it is fear, you soften inside, feeling something like: Oh God, I didn't know you were so scared! It will help you. Now there is tolerance in their attitudes. There is love and forgiveness.
As long as they judge behaviors based on fear, such as aggression, addiction, subordination, vanity (etc.) as bad, You are asking, you will be judging. But judging is also an activity based on fear. Have you noticed that when you judge, you become harder inside? Something squeezes, like lips pressing each other or eyes becoming numb. Why do we need to judge things? What is the urgency of limiting things to right and wrong? What is the fear below our need to judge? It is the fear of facing our own darkness. It is essentially the fear of living.
By letting go of ego-based awareness, you will want to develop a completely new way of looking at things. This way of looking can be better described as neutral, meaning that you only take note of what it is, and you have no interest in how things "should be." The causes and effects of ego-based behaviors are observed, the core of inner fear is recognized, and then the ego becomes really transparent to you. If you want, you can let go of anything that is transparent to you.
Every human being knows fear. Each of you knows the darkness and loneliness of being trapped in fear. When fear is openly shown with a child's face, most people react instantly by extending their hands.
But when fear is shown indirectly, through masks of violence and brutality, it seems unforgivable. The more destructive and cruel the behavior, the more difficult it is to perceive the fear and desolation behind it.
Still, you are able to do it.
From the depths of your own experiences of fear and desolation, you can come into contact with the deep fear in the souls of murderers, rapists and criminals.
It is possible for you to understand their actions. And if you do, based on your own intimate experiences with the dark, you can start it. You can let it be, without the need to judge anyone. If you truly understand that fear is a power that is and of which you are completely knowledgeable through your life experiences, you can stop judging. Fear is neither good nor bad. Fear IS, and has a certain role to play.
In ways that are very difficult to express in human concepts, fear is both a blessing and torture. In any case, the option to allow fear in your reality was made by you. You were the God - as he says - that allowed fear to play a constitutive role in your reality. You did this not to torture yourself but TO CREATE, create a reality that had more substance, more “fullness” in it than a world based solely on love. I understand that this may seem incredible, but perhaps you can intuitively understand what I am trying to say here.
Fear is a viable part of creation. Where there is fear, there is no love. Where there is no love, love can be found in new and unpredictable ways. A full range of emotions can be explored, even created, with the absence of love. The absence of love can be felt in a variety of ways. The presence of love can only be felt against the background of fear. Otherwise, it would be all expanded and you could not perceive it as such.
Therefore, by creating fear, by catapulting yourself out of the ocean of love that surrounded you, you allowed yourself to experience love for the first time. Do you understand? You did not create love, but you created the experience of love. They needed an opposite, more than love, to do this, and they used fear as an instrument. We, on the other side of the veil, can clearly see the spiritual role that fear plays in its reality. That being the case, we beg you, again and again, not to judge. Please do not judge the fear and darkness that it brings, neither in yourself nor in any other being. All of you were created from love and to love you must return.
When you enter stage two of the process of transforming the ego to the heart, you are faced with internal pain, your fear, and you are invited to look at it with understanding and acceptance.
After becoming aware of your pain and inner fear, you can first go through a period of self-criticism, in which you can develop destructive behavior. It may seem that you are going backwards instead of going forward. At that point, you are in the dangerous zone, the non-human territory between the ego and the heart. You know that you have to get out of the old, but you still can't really embrace the new, therefore you are hooked with self-confidence and self-criticism. The turning point is when you stop judging yourself - at least for a while.
Only when you are prepared to look at yourself with an attitude of interest and openness, is it that you enter the reality of heart-based consciousness. Before that, you are merely comparing yourself to an artificial or ideal model that, most of the time, is insufficient. You bump into this, and then try again to force yourself into that model you created for yourself in your head.
This kind of perfectionism, of which I speak, is a murderous weapon. It is totally the opposite of love. Love does not really compare and, more importantly, never wants to force them to something or change them in any way. Love has no eyes for what it should be. The true category of 'should' is absence of heart consciousness. Seen from the heart, moral categories are always ways of interpreting or 'dividing' reality. There are ideas in their heads, and as you know, they can differ greatly from head to head. The true need to establish models and define the good is the forerunner of human conflict and war. It is not so much the ideas as the implicit need for control and direction, which causes aggression and conflict.
Political ideals, personal or spiritual, standards of health, beauty and health, all provide models of how things should be, or how you should behave. They all try to fix and define what is GOOD.
But LOVE is not interested in defining the Good.
He is not interested in ideas, but in reality.
Love turns to what is real.
The heart is interested in everything that is, in every real expression of you, the destructive and the constructive ones. He simply takes note; he is simply there, surrounding you with his presence, if you allow it.
If you open yourself to the reality of love, the reality of the heart, you release the judgment. They accept who they are at the moment. You realize that you are who you are because of a multitude of reasons, which you are now going to investigate and explore.
When this time comes, it is a great blessing to the soul. Now you are able to heal yourself. You will fall into self-criticism from time to time, but now you have a conscious memory of how love feels. And as soon as you have it, you will find it again, because you have tasted the sweet perfume of Home again.
In the second stage of the transition from the ego to the heart, you come into closer contact with yourself. They are having a closer view of their luggage from the past. They are reliving again (painful) memories. Memories of this life, perhaps memories of past lives. The psychological baggage that you carry of all your life times, completely in the present, constitutes your current identity. You can look at this luggage like a suitcase full of clothes. You have played many roles in the past, you have assumed many attitudes, exactly as pieces of clothing. You have believed so strongly in some of these roles that you came to consider them as part of your identity. "This is me", you think of such roles or 'clothes'.
However, when you truly investigate what these roles have to do with you, you will discover that you are not them.
You are not the psychological roles or identities that you assume. You are not your clothes.
You have used these roles, because of a need for experience felt by the soul.
The soul delights in all experiences, because they are part of the learning process that she herself has undertaken to carry out. Considering it in this way, all experiences are useful and valuable.
When you look more closely at your roles or identities, you immediately see that there have been painful, even traumatic experiences in your past, which are still 'attached' to you. You seem unable to let them go. They have become like a 'second skin': skin instead of mere clothing.
Those are the difficult elements in their past, the pieces that now retain them from truly living and enjoying life. You have identified a lot with these parts, which you think you are. Because of this, you think you are a victim, and from that you draw a negative conclusion about life. But these conclusions do not consider life as such, they only consider the traumatic parts in the consciousness of their soul.
This is the part that now needs healing. You will do this by entering the past again, but with the most loving and prudent conscience you have ever had. In the second stage of the process of transformation from the ego to the heart, you heal episodes from the past surrounding you with your present consciousness. Through re-experiencing them in the present, from a heart-centered focus, you will let go of the traumatic parts of your past.
Trauma occurs when you experience great loss or pain or evil, and you cannot understand why it happens. You have all experienced trauma, in many of your lives. In fact, soul consciousness during the ego stage is traumatized from the beginning: there is a loss of Unity or Home that she remembers and does not understand.
When you return to the original traumatic event through imagination and enclose it with the awareness of the heart, you are replacing your original response to that event. They take him out of horror and disbelief, simply watching what happens. In the return, you simply observe what happened, and this true act creates space for understanding, space for spiritual understanding of what actually happened in that event. When this space is present, you again become masters of your reality again. Now you are able to come to an acceptance of the entire episode, since you understand from the heart that there is meaning and purpose in every thing that happens. You can feel from the heart that an element of free choice is present in everything that happens, and then you develop an acceptance of your own responsibility for the event. When you accept your own responsibility, you are free to follow course.
It is only when you relate to your past identities as an actor in your roles, that you are free to go anywhere you want. Then they are free to enter the consciousness based on the heart. You do not hold any more aspect of what you have been in the past: victim or aggressor, man or woman, black or white, poor or rich, and so on. When you can play with the aspects of duality and simply use them whenever it brings you joy and creativity, you will have reached the meaning of life on earth.
You will experience a lot of happiness and a homecoming class. This is because you are in contact with the consciousness underlying the different roles and identities. You touch base with your own divine consciousness again, the understanding that everything is one, in short: the reality of love.
We will close this chapter by giving you two exercises, which can help you get in touch with that current of unity, that current of divine consciousness that is the hidden current of everything you experience.
Exercise 1
What psychological characteristics, which you consider quite a part of you, cause in you most of the problems in your lives? Name two such characteristics.
Focus on the opposites of those characteristics. Thus, if you took impatience or insecurity, now you will focus on your counterparts: patience and self-confidence. Feel the energy of these characteristics for a moment.
Go inside and look for these energies within you. Name three examples in your own life, in which you exhibited these positive characteristics.
Now that you are in touch with these positive characteristics, allow your energies to flow through you and feel how you balance them.
Exercise 2
Relax and allow your imagination to travel back to a time when you felt very happy. Take the first thing that comes into your mind.
Feel the happiness again.
Now go to a time when you felt extremely unhappy. Feel the essence of what you felt then.
Capture what is common to both experiences. Feel what is the same in both moments.
Both exercises are designed so that you know of the underlying consciousness, of the "you" always present in all your experiences.
This ever-present recipient of consciousness, the transporter of your experiences, is the divine You. It is his entrance to a reality beyond duality: the reality of the heart.
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© Pamela Kribbe 2004
www.jeshua.net/esp
Translation: Sandra Gusella
Original page in English: http / www.jeshua.net / lightworker / jeshua7.htm
