As young children, we feel helpless and require the care of our parents to survive. But as we grow up we want to affirm our own identity and feel that we are different from our parents, that we can fend for ourselves and as we grow we also gain independence. Over time we discover that we are interdependent beings and this is what allows us to build ourselves in the middle of a society as responsible human beings .
Independence gives us the possibility to feel free and affirm ourselves in our own being . But we don't always manage to develop our independence in the right way, so we commit irresponsible acts that instead of achieving our self-affirmation lead us to destruction. We think of our self-affirmation, without thinking of the other, so we become selfish beings that often leads us to the difficulty of living in a society. We believe that our needs are not compatible with those of the other or that there is not enough abundance in the world to satisfy us all, so that each one “fights for his own”.
The fear
The fear of facing the challenges that life presents us, leads us to hostile relationships. This unhealthy fear that does not help us to make changes in our life but instead paralyzes us is the one that makes us act in a non-collaborative way in front of others, we seek our own benefit and forget about the needs and interests of others, fear prevents us from moving forward, disconnects us from reality and shows us a distorted image of reality and it is this same fear that keeps us in the same distorted behavior patterns where we do not grow out of fear of seeing what is beyond the place in which we are.
Fear threatens our nature that is to grow, affects our integrity and leads us to the chaos which we encounter daily in our society. We fight against each other out of fear, without realizing that the solution is in cooperation . But this fear, although part of our natural instinct, constantly feeds us to show us what is right, teach us characteristics of our culture and beliefs; but they also encourage us through education and the news. We are afraid of going outside, of expressing what we think and what we feel, we are afraid of failing, of being different from others and endless other things that lead us to react aggressively or become completely paralyzed.
But also, fear, became a fundamental element in relationships, generating more than love relationships, attachment relationships, in which we submit to the requests of others to meet their expectations, we do things not because they leave our own conviction but because we are afraid of losing the affection of the other. We want to be approved by others, whether they are our parents, bosses or friends that many times we end up undergoing painful, restrictive and destructive situations that instead of taking us to a state of freedom, are castrating our identity.
We all have an inner Warrior
However, within us lives a Warrior that drives us out of the networks of fear and find that freedom so desired that it is eager to leave within the deepest part of our being. From what others think of each of us, we form an image of what we must project to please others and seek to establish ourselves as subjects with an identity and a power . It is through what we do, our movements, our gaze, the way we speak, the clothes we wear, how we project this identity to be captured by others. When we show this image we feel empowered, "subjects of power, " but when crises ensue, this power feels like it is fading and we can enter into states of victimization, complaining about what happens to us and limiting ourselves in our abilities.
However, that Warrior that we carry inside emerges again with his creativity and strength to get us out of that state of submission. It is the Warrior who helps us look for options, face difficulties, take responsibility for our actions and accept the changes that occur in our lives. It is the Warrior who helps us express ourselves in the world and show our personal power. Our Warrior also defends us from toxic situations, sets the limits so that our inner being is not trampled, takes us out of the paralysis produced by fear and leads us to act and move forward. to achieve what we want.
How to develop our Warrior
Although not all of us have a well developed Warrior, there are some recommendations that we can carry out to strengthen ourselves more every day and have a healthy Warrior to accompany us:
- Improve my self-esteem, recognize myself as a being with power . Do not wait to be recognized by the other. Give value to the things I do regardless of the opinion of others.
- Learn to receive praise from others .
- Learn to set limits . Know when someone is assaulting us and know how to express our thoughts and feelings assertively in the face of that situation.
- Recognize our fears . Understanding when they are leading us to behave aggressively or on the contrary paralyzes us.
- Learn to be strategic as Warriors do. Know when we can face a situation and when it is better to retire.
- Avoid thoughts and behaviors of victimization .
- Dare to do something different
Acting with conviction that what we are doing makes us better, that we are not hurting others and that it is for me well-being and the well-being of others
Author: JP Ben-Avid
Editor hermandadblanca.org
Bibliography
Aldana, Graciela. (2003). Of archetypes, stories and paths. Creativity and Innovation Editions.
