What does it take to be happy as a couple?

  • 2014

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? ”Is the question posed by Dr. Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist, business consultant, and international lecturer, who proposes some tips to improve life as a couple .
While there is no magic secret to achieve this, Goulston argues that his experience has made him notice that happier couples often have certain habits that contribute to their well-being.

1. They go to bed at the same time

According to Goulston, happy couples often resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one of them gets up later to do things while their partner is sleeping, he says, adding that when they touch their skin they still feel a little tingling, unless one or both are so exhausted as to feel sexually aroused.

2. Cultivate common interests

When the passion lowers their levels, it is common for couples to realize that they have few interests in common. Therefore, we should not downplay the activities that can be developed and enjoyed together, says the expert.

If common interests are not present, happy couples will develop them, point out, also recommending to have separate activities, so that the relationship does not become too dependent .

3. Walk hand in hand or go side by side

Instead of one of the two being left behind because he walks slower or stops to see something, Goulston recommends walking comfortably next to the couple, and even better if They take the hand. If one wants to stop to observe something, it is better to do it together, or the sense of company is lost.

4. Trust and forgive

In routine disagreements or discussions that do not come to resolution, happy couples do not wear out, forgive each other and trust each other, instead of holding grudges and reluctantly staying in the relationship n.

5. Focus more on what your partner does well than what he does wrong

If you start looking for bad things in your partner, you will always find something. If you do the opposite, that is, you look for the good, you will also find things. “It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive, ”says the expert.

6. They hug when they meet again after work or activities

"Our skin has a memory of" good caresses "(love), " bad caresses "(abuse) and" no caresses "(carelessness). Couples who greet each other with a hug keep their skin bathed in "good caresses, " says Mark.

7. They say "I love you" and "have a good day" every morning

It is a way to cultivate patience and tolerance, as it is a good way to start a day that has problems, difficulties and other discomforts that could occur at work.

8. They say "Good evening" every night, regardless of how they feel

“This tells your partner that, no matter how bad you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. He says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any disturbing incident, ”explains the psychiatrist.

9. Call or send a small message to your partner during the day

Calling or sending a small message asking how each other's day is going is a habit of happy couples, says Goulston. It helps maintain complicity and connection even when they are not seen, and allows you to be more in tune when you see each other after work. You can know if your partner is having a horrible day or had a great achievement that they can share when they meet again.

10. They feel proud to be with their partner

Happy couples like to see each other together and when they are in public they usually shake hands, rest their hand on each other's shoulder, back or knee, etc. They show the connection that exists between them, sometimes without realizing it.

Goulston indicates that a habit is a discrete behavior that, in order to become automatic, needs a little effort to maintain and cultivate it. In this sense, he says that those who have problems with a partner can select one of the points indicated and carry it out. Also, if it does not work at the beginning, it is advisable not to despair and simply resume it.

You can see here the original article in English at www.psychologytoday.com

What does it take to be happy as a couple?

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