Why jealousy hurts ?, by Osho, The Book of Wisdom
Jealousy is comparison. And we have been taught to compare, we have been conditioned to compare, to always compare. One person has a better house, another person has a more beautiful body, another person has more money, another person has a more charismatic personality. Compare, keep comparing yourself to everyone who passes by your side and the result will be jealousy; They are the byproduct of conditioning to compare.
Otherwise, if you stop comparing, jealousy disappears. Then, you simply know that you are uncle and that you are no one else and that it is not necessary to be. It is good that you do not compare yourself with trees, otherwise you will start feeling very jealous: Why are you not green? And why has existence been so hard on you and not with flowers? You better not compare yourself with the birds, with the rivers, with the mountains; otherwise you will suffer. You only compare yourself with human beings, because you have been conditioned to compare yourself only with human beings; You don't compare yourself to peacocks or parrots. If not, your jealousy would be bigger every time: you would be so loaded with jealousy that you would not be able to live at all.
Comparison is a stupid attitude, because each person is unique and incomparable. Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears. Each one is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself: no one has ever been like you and no one will ever be like you. And you don't need to be like someone else.
Existence only creates originals; Do not believe in copies.
A group of chickens was in the yard when a ball flew over the fence and landed between them. A rooster wiggled, studied her, then said: "I'm not complaining, girls, but look at the work they are producing here next door."
Great things are happening next door: the grass is greener, the roses are more pink. Everyone seems to be very happy except you. You are continually comparing. And the same happens with the others, they are also comparing. Perhaps they think that your lawn is greener - it always seems greener at a distance - that you have a more beautiful wife ... You are tired, you cannot understand why you have been caught by this woman, you do not know how to get rid of her, and the neighbor He may be jealous of you, that you have such a beautiful wife! And you can be jealous of him ...
Everyone is jealous of everyone. And from jealousy we create a tremendous hell and due to jealousy we become very mean.
An old farmer was in a bad mood contemplating the ravages of the flood. "Hiram!" A neighbor shouted, "all your pigs went to the creek."
"And the Thompson pigs?" Asked the farmer. "Too".
"And those of Larsen?"
"Uff!" The farmer muttered, rejoicing. "It's not as bad as I thought."
If everyone is in misery, it feels good; If everyone is losing, it feels good. If everyone is happy and succeeding, the taste is very bitter.
But why does the idea of the other enter your head in the first place? Again let me remind you: because you have not allowed your own sap to flow; you have not allowed your own happiness to grow, you have not allowed your own being to flourish. Hence, you feel empty inside and look at the outside of each one, because you can only see the outside.
You know your interior and you know the exterior of others: that creates jealousy. They know your exterior and know its interior: that creates jealousy. No one else knows your interior. There you know you're nothing, you're worth nothing. And the others outside look smiling. Their smiles may be false, but how can you know that they are false? Maybe their hearts are smiling too. You know that your smile is false, because your heart is not smiling at all, it may be crying and lamenting.
You know your interiority and only you know it, nobody else. And you know everyone's exterior and people have made their exterior beautiful. The exteriors are exhibition pieces and are very misleading.
There is an ancient Sufi story:
A man was very sorry for his suffering. He used to pray to God every day, “Why me? Everyone seems to be so happy, why am I in this suffering? One day, with great despair, he prayed to God saying, “You can give me the suffering of any person and I will be ready to accept it. But take mine, I can't take it anymore. ”
That night he had a beautiful and very revealing dream. He dreamed that night that God appeared in heaven and said to everyone, "Bring all your sufferings to the temple." Everyone was tired of their suffering; in fact everyone has prayed at one time or another, “I am ready to accept the suffering of the other, but take mine; It's too much, it's unbearable. ”
So everyone put their sufferings in bags and took them to the temple and they looked very happy; the day had come, his prayer had been heard. And this man also ran to the temple.
And then God said, "Put your bags on the walls." All the bags were placed on the walls and then God declared: "Now you can choose. Whoever wants can take any bag. ”
And the most surprising thing was this: that this man who had always been praying, ran to his bag before anyone could choose it! But he got a surprise, because everyone ran to his own bag and everyone was happy to choose it again. What happened? For the first time, everyone had seen the miseries of others, the sufferings of others; their bags were just as big or even bigger!
And the second problem was that one had become accustomed to his own sufferings. Now, choose those of another: Who knows what kind of suffering will be inside the bag? Why bother? At least you are familiar with your own sufferings and have become accustomed to them and are tolerable. For many years you have tolerated them; Why choose the unknown?
And everyone went home happy. Nothing had changed, they were bringing back the same suffering, but everyone was happy and smiling and joyful to be able to recover their own bag.
In the morning he prayed to God and said, “Thank you for the dream; I will never ask again. Anything you have given me is good for me, it must be good for me; That's why you gave it to me. ”
Because of jealousy, you are constantly suffering; You become mean to others. And because of jealousy you start to become false, because you start to appear. You start to look like you have things you don't have, you start to look like you have things you can't have, which are not natural to you. You become more and more artificial. Imitating others, competing with others, what else can you do? If someone has something and you don't have it and you don't have a natural chance of owning it, all you can do is have a cheap substitute.
I heard that Jim and Nancy Smith had a great time in Europe this summer. It's so fantastic when a couple finally has the chance to really have a good time. They went everywhere and did everything. Paris, Rome ... they saw and did anything you can think of.
But it was so embarrassing to return home and go through customs. You know that customs officials meddle in all your belongings. They opened a bag and took out three wigs, silk underwear, perfumes, hair dye ... really embarrassing. And that happened only with Jim's bag!
Just look inside your bag and you will find so many artificial, false, supposed things; for what? Why can't you be natural and spontaneous? Because of jealousy.
The jealous man lives in hell. Stop comparing and jealousy disappears, meanness disappears, falsehood disappears. But you can only release it if you start cultivating your inner treasures; There is no other way.
Grow up, become a more and more authentic individual. Love yourself and respect yourself as existence has created you, and then immediately the doors of heaven open for you. They are always open, you simply had not looked at them.
Why jealousy hurts ?, by Osho, The Book of Wisdom