Never lose confidence in your child, in your student, in any child

Here I will talk about those children who again and again make you doubt, ask yourself, can you trust them or not? They tend to lie, to exaggerate, to take advantage of those times where nobody looks at them to do something wrong.

They have immense heart, they are tender, many times you have seen them to be supportive, generous and good companions, but they are not clear when it comes to the limit, and it seems that there is no reference that can stop their impulse to want to pass the line.

His parents, teachers, or his dependents, have lost confidence in him. They have proven that it is best to avoid giving responsibilities, commitments or putting something in their care.

Both the adult and the child have placed themselves in a comfortable position, where there are no risks, where nothing bad will happen, or anything new ... But, you know what? What makes us grow is what bothers us, that moves us from safe places, that pushes us outward, towards real life.

If you stopped trusting it was for one reason, or many, but it is not the solution, rather, the problem has mutated and deepened ...

I will tell you one thing, which I believe, one of the fundamentals, those that a son or child in your care should never feel, never lose confidence in him. Whatever happens, whatever you do, give it over and over again the possibility of overcoming yourself, of surprising yourself ... Leave it to the temptation of good, and always think that he can.

Imagine that they do not believe in you, that the outside again and again show you that you cannot take care, have attention, remember something important, arrive or stay alone in one place, help someone. It is hopeless. The child who needs the most trust in him is the one who will show less. As this phrase by Robert Louis Stevenson says: "Love me when you least deserve it, because it will be when you need it most."

For trust to be rebuilt, be something true, sustained over time, it must be a process. It begins with something smaller in search of a greater ideal. All on a common sense basis that will help you have dimension of what each situation and child need.

If, because we are so emotionally linked, we feel that we have lost common sense, here are some points that can be a reference, and give order to a disorderly state.

From small to large: It is not a blind faith, but to give opportunities that will grow. Start by giving small, punctual, precise possibilities, without much possibility of diversion. Then, as the child achieves his goals, he incorporates new challenges.

Short times: To avoid frustration, forgetfulness or deviations, ask at the beginning for things that can be accomplished in short times. Then you can ask for something that is sustained in days, weeks or months.

Follow up: Accompany from the reminders, the company, the loving supervision; but then, try to release completely and trust (always if we are contained within the framework of common sense).

The consequences: The child must meet the consequences of his actions. It is not about being so flexible that you can do what you want without seeing your results. If he accomplished his task, the consequence will be pleasant, cheerful; if it was not possible, the consequence will be another one, a less pleasant one, but that must go through as part of the learning.

Keep in mind what the real achievement is: The real achievement is not to do something perfect, without making mistakes. It is the intent, attention and commitment. It is the child before the possibility of his own control, self-improvement, the proper use of his energy and responsibility.

Remember, he can: Even when he seems to show you the opposite again and again, remember that we can all always overcome ourselves. And, if as a parent or teacher, you are faced with another disappointment, remember, it is not something they are doing to you, it is something they must achieve together.

Trust is not an act of faith, it is an act of love. It is the second opportunity, the third, the fourth, it does not matter, do not count them ... Do not quantify love because it has no number, no limit, no despair. It is unconditional, permanent and powerfully transformative.

Author: Nancy Erica Ortiz

Integral Pedagogue

Source: http://www.caminosalser.com/

Never lose confidence in your child, in your student, in any child