In my opinion, selfishness is so surrounded by negativity, so demonized, and we have charged him so much with sin, that we avoid at all costs any occasion when we can touch it, so as not to give a choice. So that they classify us as selfish, and avoid what is wrongly called ego smo penalizes us with all the connotations so burdened with sorrow and guilt that entails.
On the other hand, there is that error of religious interpretation of self-love - OWN love - and self-care, which are personal rights and obligations, but which can lead to interpretation. erroneous that this is selfishness, and before being blamed for size sacrilegio think one unconsciously- that it is better to yield our own and content the other
So on many occasions we give up our rights so that we cannot be branded as selfish A commit a tremendous injustice against us by denying us that corresponds to us, or giving, unnecessarily, what is ours.
I suggest the personal review of this matter because it becomes quite harmful for those who are not clear about it.
Defending one's property and rights is an absolutely lawful act, and doing so does not require us to have to give explanations, or justify ourselves, and doing so is not a sin, nor a rudeness, nor a crime.
When you give too much - not to seem selfish - you are being absolutely unfair to yourself because you are depriving yourself of your rights and attacking your dignity. It is not being balanced and fair.
Being "selfish, " as interpreted in the pejorative sense of the word, is in most cases an act of Self-Love, respect for Self and personal integrity, an act of nobility, and honesty.
"Your rights end where mine begins . " You already know the phrase and its meaning. The interesting thing is that others also know it, so remember it and bring it to light whenever necessary, whenever you have the feeling that someone is going to abuse your goodness, or that they blackmail you with the accusation of “you are a selfish. "
After all, when someone calls you selfish does not mean they are right, it is simply an opinion. The same opinion you can have of the other.
For example, if someone asks you, or imposes on you, to do him a favor from which he will benefit but, instead, he will harm you, you have the opportunity to refuse to do so - if it is your desire - with a absolutely convincing reason, and that is if you refuse and that is why he calls you selfish, you can refute him that the selfish is he, that to be benefited hurts you. Of course it is pure selfishness.
Sometimes, some people do a kind of emotional blackmail saying, more or less, that if you love them or if you appreciate them do what they ask. The answer in this case - if you do not feel like it or are not interested in doing it - is, more or less, “If you love me or appreciate me, do not ask me to do something that I do not feel like or that goes against my wishes or interests. "
Knowing what assertiveness is, and applying it in these cases, is excellent.
Defending one's rights and interests is a right of justice, and it is convenient not to admit that no one uses the accusation of "selfish" in these cases.
Do not confuse selfishness with justice.
If one decides not to please another person, or not to do something he considers abusive, he is in his full right.
And not being silly does not mean being selfish .
So less unconditionally accept the accusations of others, not allow them to try to make us feel bad "for being so selfish", and defend our rights when they are going to be trampled.
The insult only takes effect when accepted. Don't accept it when they call you selfish.
I leave you with your reflections ...
AUTHOR: Francisco de Sales
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