Do I forgive myself or am I still boycotting ?, by Francisco de Sales

  • 2014

One of the reasons why people postpone initiating a Personal Development process is the unconscious fear - or very conscious at other times - of what they can discover, that is, uncover and bring to light.

As we all have hidden things that we do not want to come to light, because it has cost us a lot of work to hide them, or because we have had to make a great effort to gradually forget them - since they have caused us so much pain ... - and as we know that the process involves the review of the whole past, the recognition of everything we have done or omitted, the inevitable confrontation with it and with oneself, the acceptance of that reality we prefer to accept what we have in this moment, which is a sad feeling of failure t that, in many respects, has become chronic-, an impression of having missed many things in life por and therefore a oppressive regret and nothing gratifying-, a personal concept of not knowing how to always act well at every moment and every circumstance, something quite unlikely to achieve-, and as, on the other hand, we know that removing the past is falling back into a state of pes At the same time, going back to spend a few serious days, so doing a review of the whole past, of which in these balances one seems to remember only the bad or give excessive preponderance to what we qualify as bad -, it becomes an unattractive experience; almost want to live with that personal concept that we do not know how to live, that we do not know how to get along with life, but hey, we must continue, although many times we do not want to continue, and we say and we know that we must accept the past, but it is a lie or it is only a theory, because we are not capable of full acceptance, with humility and with a high head at the same time, and understand from the heart and in the heart n that life is a continuous learning, that nobody is born taught to live and nobody gives us that master class where learning, living becomes a difficult task, because it is as if we were carrying a small Even a masochist who enjoys wallowing in the quagmire of our miseries, and believe me, we all have miseries that we are not proud of, and he gladly feeds on ourselves.

And if one has been so bold that at some point it has been proposed to make a process of Personal Development and has begun to review life and remember things, which is how it should be done, then they are the least pleasant those that take preponderance and occupy almost the entire past exclusively, throwing in face those that we are not proud of precisely, and it seems that we hated ourselves, that an inner enmity lived within us, together with the masochist, and they have more power than love-, and given the panorama of those things that we did what we were doing then, not what we are now-, we threw the towel in advance because we see that it is an arduous, rough task, and we think that at least we have been able to bear ourselves, and tolerate ourselves more or less, but, although we are wishing for it, we see the impossible set in the day in which we are able to give ourselves a hug without any kind of reproach, that we be able to love the self of our past; we see improbable the day we look in the mirror with a smile, and that the rigorous demanding that inhabits us migrates to another world, freeing us from their hidden tyranny.

We would already like to be like other people, who appear calm and accepted - remember the meaning of "looking" - who seem to be always well and we commit the awkwardness of being so unconscious to compare our pessimistic and sad side - that we all have it - with the fantasy we have created in our perception by imagining that the life of the other is splendid.

Life has splendorous moments, moments that bristle the hair, and emotions so great that they provoke the most pleasant of cries, and hard, merciless moments, which cause desolate cries, and thus we walk, from one emotion to another and from one to another moment, living, following this of living, but without getting all the essence, sometimes entangled with useless disquisitions, and entangled in thoughts that lead us nowhere. But this is living or in this we have turned life.

What lies at the bottom is an excessive demand of and towards ourselves, a rigorous and unnecessary intolerance, an indefinable sensation but that has to do with not being at all comfortable with one, of not being at peace, of an inconvenience with The company itself.

And we are victims and suffer from this requirement of absolute perfection, which creates a tension in our lives that does not allow us to relax. We are afraid of our own reproaches for what does not go as planned.

We have the punishment on the point, like a sword of Damocles suspended above our head, attached to a fragile thread that can be broken with the slightest unease that awakens us, and we are not able to get out of that habit of punishing ourselves for the smallest of the failures, of being intolerant of them, with the same failures that we see in others as something natural, understandable, human, and that we are able to forgive and accept effortlessly and without recrimination.

It is a great absurdity to convert coexistence with oneself into a tense, inflexible relationship, when it should be from an unbreakable camaraderie where one desires the best for the other, for oneself in this case.

It is a good decision to twin with oneself, make a good compromise agreement, using a broad and generous understanding, and a permanent collaboration to make one's life a hospitable, pleasant place, and personal relationship something enviable to be proud of. .

And the magic of this, the really beautiful thing, is that it only depends on oneself and is within everyone's reach.

It is not reserved only for the children of the Kings, for the spoiled ones of the Gods, for a privileged few, and it is not necessary to expect that another one deigns to grant us that benefit, but that oneself, little by little at first, and then with more intensity and regularity, can and should begin the process of reconciliation, walk by your own hand, watch over your own interests, give yourself the hug that seals the commitment, and live.

I leave you with your reflections ...

Francisco de Sales is the founder of the website for people interested in Psychology, Spirituality, Improvable Life, Self-Knowledge, and Personal Development.

Do I forgive myself or am I still boycotting ?, by Francisco de Sales

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