(By Nancy Ortiz)
Children of Today
We often hear say "Children have to be spoken with the heart" or "With the children of today you have to communicate with the truth", but what is speaking with the heart? What is telling the truth?
To speak with the heart is to speak with the truth, but not cold or rigidly, but a truth communicated with empathy, sensitivity, heat, generating at the same time, a lot of space for a flexible exchange.
And telling the truth is talking about what happens to me or what is happening. Laura Gutman in her book "Motherhood and the encounter with the shadow itself" names two types of truths: the external truth and the internal truth.
The external truth is the reality that happens outside, for example “we moved to the other house because the previous house was very humid”, “I am going to work because we need the money”, “your father and I are going to live in different houses because we need some time to be better each one with himself ”, etc.
The inner truth is what I feel, what happens to me, that I cannot avoid, that appears, that takes me, that is part of my individual path as being. For example, "I am sad because I feel lonely, " "I am reluctant because I cannot find work that I like", "I am anxious or nervous because ...", "I am tired", "I am sensitive and need to be silent because ..."
Many times things happen that belong to the adult world but that the child, being part of the family, is completely involved. And many times before this we do not know what to do, we decide to silence or accommodate the truth in such a way that without even realizing, we lie.
We underestimate children's ability to understand and we are indifferent to their need to know the truth.
Many of us have grown up with lies or hidden things. Many of us as children knew what was happening even though the environment hid it. We knew it because we felt it and we deeply wanted to be part of the truth. But our educators grew up under the paradigm of "eyes that do not see hearts that do not feel" which is the same as saying "ears that do not listen, ears that do not know."
This is simply not true, let alone with today's children.
Children not only deserve the truth but they know it before it even happens. Many children, for example, know that their parents are divorced living in the same house, or they know about the death of a family being before it happens or before they are informed. It is customary to say "I already knew" or "Yes, I know."
They know it and they need that we, the adults, the beings that love and have as referents, recognize it before them and manifest it in words.
What comes to light no matter how intricate and complex it is, becomes light because it has the recognition and acceptance of ourselves, and at the same time, by recognizing it and saying it, we free children from the weight generated by hiding it. . Instead, what we cannot or do not want to see, and is hidden in the unconscious or somewhere that only we know, produces discomfort in the environment, weight on the shoulders, stagnant or contained energy, which if it is not recognized, someone who will take care of showing it: children.
Some children will be able to ask "What's up? Why? How? Since when?" Others, unable or unwilling to do so, manifest it as emotional or physical symptoms.
In one way or another, they undress what happens to us because they have come to bring us evolution and evolution occurs when we take a new step.
The pediatrician and homeopath Lua Catalá in her book "Pediatrics for New Children, " says the following about it: "Every disease, every symptom, is psychosomatic because everything has an origin or cause in our psyche, in our mind or in our emotions, sometimes, in our spiritual dimension.
Everything that is not expressed, that we do not recognize or cannot express, is printed. It is marked in our cells, organs, muscles, systems or in our DNA as material that is stored in the unconscious world and struggles to go out looking for the cracks. And what emerges from the dark through the slits, are the symptoms.
So, just as we talk about a human body, we could make the analogy with an organism or a body made up of several people: the family body. As in the human body, in the family, each person has a function. We could see each member as a different organ. [...] Thus, in a family, living together creates psychological and energetic dynamics that make up the family body. Therefore, we must observe and take into account this whole organism if we want to deepen the causes of diseases or dysfunctions.
Children are usually the crack or crack where conflicts or diseases of this family body emerge. Children, perhaps because they are the most virgin and fresh organ of that organism, are those who express with their illnesses or behaviors what is not recognized or expressed in the family, as well as, they are the force or solution that puts March said family body to heal, adapt or survive.
And with this situation we can do two things: First, silence the symptom. If we do not contemplate a new approach, it is very possible that we only treat that child who becomes ill or behaves in an annoying way, and does not ask ourselves more. An example would be the case of a hyperactive child whose official medicine is determined to see as an individual with a physical, organic, functional or psychic defect, which must be calmed with psychoactive drugs. With which, we reassure and suppress this symptom, but we do not resolve the real conflict, it will emerge again by the same site or look for other ways to express itself.
Or, we take it as a symptom of a body with more members and listen to what it is telling us, where it points to the cause of the conflict, where it directs our attention, and we recognize its self-healing effort. n [ ]
Where to start?
To face the truth, we must first change our relationship with what happens to us. Stop seeing what happens to us as something negative, as something we should avoid, or as the worst thing that could have happened to us. Of course there will be simpler things to accept, and therefore to communicate, but at the same time children invite us to meet the truth from a more natural, neutral, lightweight place. .
In addition, another important point is to first recognize with me what is happening or what happens to me: Do I really know what happens to me ?, Do I encourage myself to see the truth, to recognize my truth ?, A d Where will it take me to live more sincerely? What do I not want to see? Until where can I? What do I do with what I cannot see? What I don't want to see, what I'm not even prepared to recognize with myself?
These two previous points I leave for your reflection.
Continuing in relation to children, it is essential not to underestimate the understanding they may have. Of course you will be cautious and measured with your words depending on the child's age and characteristics. With children under 6 years of age, it is spoken in one way, and with children over this age, in another. Here it is important to know and be able to adapt to the language, way of seeing the world and the situations of the children according to their inner maturity.
But beyond the words that are used, the important thing is that you have no weight or judgment of bad good in the adult, and that what you are told to be true, no matter what let's talk figuratively more specifically.
If you respond naturally to what the child asks or what is happening, the child will not be surprised or scared; I will take it naturally, it is more, it will only be a confirmation of what you already feel, what you already know.
What you will be doing will be great, saving the child discomfort, dissatisfaction, conflict, disharmony, and everything that can lead to it. And for you it will be an opportunity to meet the sincerity, and the healing and harmony to which it leads us.
Author: Nancy Erica Ortiz
Creator of the The Children of Today
www.caminosalser.com/nancyortiz
Source: https://www.caminosalser.com/1472-indigocristal/los-ninos-de-hoy-y-su-necesidad-de-saber-la-verdad/
