Parents' fears: Consequences on the child By Nancy Ortiz

  • 2012

Children of Today

I often hear talk or find articles about children's fears, their conflicts at school, learning problems, behavior, and the question I want to share here arises, is it that children are born with these difficulties, or a Could certain education, or no education, result in certain symptoms in children?

So, given this, can we think that children are born healthy and stay healthy if the environment is healthy?

And if the environment, parents, school, society, changes the type of education, does the child change?

Here I want to talk about the fears of their educators: a point, which breaks the emotional, physical or spiritual balance of a child.

The fears of the parents: Consequences in the child

The truth is that when we are parents all theories, if we had them, are put to the test. Many times he feels that nothing is known, that we doubt everything, that it is too much responsibility to decide for the good and path of a human being. This creates great fears for us, and we make decisions based on our fears. That is, we do not decide lucidly or in total freedom, we decide to counteract or placate the great terror that we have to make mistakes or damage this being that we love so much.

But, what I want to share here, which I see unfortunately repeatedly, is that the most harmful for a child, and for ourselves too, is not what we fear but the fears themselves.

I want to share a simple example to make it clear what I mean:

I remember when my daughter was barely a month old, I was hesitant, doubtful, fearful. It was all very new, and I couldn't observe my emotions and where they were leading me.

I was afraid that when I slept it would be cold, or that if I had a lot of it, it would be too hot, in short my fear was not being able to realize what I really needed. I remember that when I slept, I came and went. In a moment I covered her with a blanket, I left the room thinking that I had covered her too much, that it could be hot. I return to the room and uncover it, a little, in half. That is, make a decision half, half covered, half uncovered ... incongruous. Even so, I left the room believing that I might be cold At that moment something lit up inside me, and a voice appeared that said: “Make the decision you want, but without weight, without roll, without internal conflict.

What does more damage, even more than cold or heat, is deciding with fear. I perceive the weight with which you perform your actions, and that is what hurts me. ”

It doesn't matter if I thought this, I believe it, or my daughter's being told me. I let each one by his own experience consider it in any way he wants. The most important thing was the clarity that this message left me.

If for fear we do not let the child go to a friend's house, camp, go outside because it is very cold, eat certain foods because they can cause allergy; or when he is a baby, for example, for fear of being hit, we do not let him touch, crawl, learn to walk, we are behind him insecure, we are not doing him a favor, we are not generating health.

With this I do not mean that if I consider that it is still small to stop camping I have to leave it to overcome my fears, no. What I say, following this example, is that I make the decision on a healthy basis, in this case it would be "I think the child is still small, so he will not go to this camp." Without weight, the decision is clean, light.

The opposite case would be "I am afraid that a bug bites you, is cold and does not get warm, that it falls into the water, that the teachers are not attentive to your care, " and on this basis, I decide.

We know that children have great sensitivity towards everything we feel, especially if we are their parents, and even more, what the mother feels. So, if we want an education that favors and contributes to a healthy development of your emotions, spirit and physical body, we must, yes or yes, work on our fears.

The question that I invite you to ask yourself is : What do I consider to be more harmful, the fears of something happening to you or what I want to prevent from happening?

We cannot prevent the child from encountering certain difficulties, they are part of life. If we do not help him, his parents, to meet the first challenges, sooner or later he will meet them the same, and the contrast may be greater.

Again, we cannot avoid situations that are only part of being alive in a physical world. We cannot prevent a child from hitting, catching a cold, having a friend treat him badly, or similar situations. If we allow the child to meet life, accept it with its lights and its shadows, we are giving it health.

The challenges generate strength, reinforce their will, generate security, even in the wrong decisions. When we do not let the child live certain things that are part of life because of fear, we may not realize how to be weakening him.

On the other hand, if education, and therefore, the decisions we make, are based on joy, the desire that the child conquer his world, accept it, live it fully, learn from the difficulties, know how to solve them, or That he doesn't know how to solve them, and that he learns to ask for help, to ask, to say “I don't know, I can't, ” we maintain the state of balance within.

Let us not forget that the children who arrive today know where they are coming from, and if we do not block the knowledge and potential they bring, they will have no difficulty with the world. And when I say "no difficulty" I don't mean that some things don't cost you to acquire, learn or accept them, but that you will have the total capacity to live in this world, appropriate it, bring new possibilities, and finally transform it, and grow together to the world.

Author: Nancy Erica Ortiz

Creator of the course "Children of Today"

www.caminosalser.com/nancyortiz

Source: https://www.caminosalser.com/1464-indigocristal/los-miedos-de-los-padres-consecuencia-en-el-nino/

Next Article