It is possible that the word `` detachment '' causes you some sense of coldness and even emotional selfishness. Nothing is further from reality. The word detachment, understood within the context of personal growth, is a great inner value that we should all learn to develop.
Practicing detachment does not mean at all getting rid of everything that is important to us, breaking affective bonds or personal relationships with those who are part of our personal circle.
It basically means knowing how to love, appreciate and get involved in things from a more balanced and healthy point of view, freeing ourselves in turn from those excesses that put us in chains and tie us up. That cut our wings.
Share
Emotional liberation is to give us the option to live more honestly according to our needs, offering in turn the option to grow, to move forward with knowledge of cause. Without harming anyone, without anyone putting us their camouflaged fence with the chains of passionate, filial or even maternal love.
Let us learn, then, to put into practice these simple laws on detachment ...
First law: you are responsible for yourself
Nobody is going to remove every stone that you are in your way, just like nobody is going to breathe for you or volunteer to carry your sorrows or feel your pains. You yourself are the architect of your own existence and of every step you take.
So, the first law that you should keep in mind to practice detachment is to be aware that you are fully responsible for yourself.
-Don't put your own happiness in the pocket of others. Do not conceive the idea that to be happy in this life, it is essential to find a partner that loves you, or always have the recognition of your family.
-If the barometer of your satisfaction and happiness is in what others bring you, you will not get more than suffering. The reason? Rarely will they cover all your needs.
-Create your own happiness, feel responsible, mature, be aware of your decisions and their consequences, choose for yourself and never let your well-being, always depend on the hearts of others.
Second law: live the present, accept, assume reality
In this life, nothing is eternal, nothing remains, everything flows and resumes its path weaving that natural order that it is so difficult for us to assume at times. People are almost always focused on everything that happened in the past and that, in some way, now becomes a hard burden that alters our present.
Those family disagreements, that trauma, that loss, that sentimental failure or that frustration not overcome. All these are anchors that hold us, that put chains on our feet and hooks on our soul.
It is a toxic and unhealthy attachment that prevents us from moving forward in freedom and fulfillment
Accept, assume and even if it costs you, learn to forgive. It will make you feel more liberated and will help you focus on what really matters, the "here and now", be present where you have your real opportunity. What are you waiting for?
Third law: promote your freedom and allow others to be free too
It assumes that freedom is the most complete, complete and healthy way of enjoying life, of understanding it in all its immensity.
However, this does not prevent us from establishing emotional ties with other people, because it is also part of our personal growth. Know how to love and know how to receive love.
However, detachment implies that you should never hold yourself accountable for the lives of others, just like others, they should not impose their principles, their ties or personal chains to cling to them. This is where the real problem and the sufferings begin.
Intense attachments are never healthy, think for example of those obsessive parents who overdo their children's protection and prevent them from maturing, being able to move forward safely to explore the world.
The need to “take off” is vital in these cases, where everyone must go beyond the limits of certainty to learn from the unforeseen, from the unknown.
Fourth law : assume that losses will happen sooner or later
We return again to the same idea: to accept that, in this life, nothing can be contained forever. Life, relationships, and even material things, end up fading away like smoke that escapes from an open window or fresh water that slips through our fingers.
People will leave, children will grow, some friends will cease to be and some love will leave the warmth of your hand ...
All this is part of detachment, and as such, we must learn to assume it to face it with greater integrity. With greater force.
But what will never change is your ability to want. And you must always start with yourself.
Valeria Sabater
