The primary wound of the inner child - by Roberto Pérez - Part 4- Comments by Gisela S.
- 2018
Personal or Subconscious
That experience, that wound of feeling attacked, rejected or only going to leave in another layer of consciousness closer to the personality, will leave an impression that has to do with a feeling, is what we call the personal self . That personal I, which I can also call as the subconscious, as a layer closer to the personality, in that place remains, if that was a wound, this is a footprint, a footprint remains, and this footprint will give the basis to a fear later.
And the mark that remains on the people who lived this of being in that presence and feeling that they left me alone, the mark that will leave is the impression that they abandoned me (essence 4, 5 and 9 / Group 1). This feeling of abandonment will be like a background sound in the lives of these people. They abandoned me, and the fear of abandonment will be a consequence of this background sound, the fear of being abandoned again . This feeling is below, it has another way of presenting itself, and it is "they don't accept me as I am, I feel different". It's almost like the ugly duckling, "what should I have different from the others who don't accept me?" It's fear that they won't accept me, fear that they won't value me, fear that they won't understand me and this will be background.
For others who had this dedication to others (2.6 and 7 / Group 2) this concern that we give, fulfill and thank others, where we feel they left us alone and we feel rejection, there will be a feeling of lack of affection Yes! "I feel he didn't love me." And that lack I will feel as an internal demand, "if the one who loved me so much, I stop wanting, what will happen to me?" And this feeling of lack of affection makes me deep down to dream that one day he will get the blue prince or princess or someone who will love me as I need to be loved. And those of us who are like that watch movies and cry because we identify with the character. Because inside we carry that stigma that someone stopped loving us. So every time we watch a movie we perceive this. There will remain in us a feeling of lack of affection that they want us as we want.
Finally there are these people who are strong people (Group 3), who felt the aggression, what is going to be inside them is a feeling of weakness. When you mark a weakness they jump you like a tiger because they are not weak, because to recognize a weakness is to recognize that they can harm me again. I will not be weak. That kind of attitude has consequences.
Consequences of that Primal Feeling
The first consequence has to do with fear, of course the fear of this first way of being in life is the fear of abandonment (Group 1) , as well as fear that they will not accept me, abandon me.
Of the typologies of approaching others (Group 2), it is the fear of not being loved, the fear is that others also reject me . And fear that others add me (Group 3). These are attitudes that remain as fears already installed in the personality .
Let's see if we all recognize each other now, based on this when the ego begins to be structured where that fear, as I say, has to do with how we structure ourselves in life, based on that, the ego when it begins to structure us is giving us a tip And attention! because the raw part begins, our ego when it is constituted begins to tell the three variables different things.
What does the Ego tell us, when is it becoming?
To group one, the ego says so that this does not happen to you more, so that no one does all that to you, you have to isolate yourself That is why the mechanism of the ego is to isolate itself . The behavior that the ego begins to print is does yours, does yours if others do not understand you. Search your happiness. With the others you have problems.
Typology 4 (Group 1) in the enneagram is made up of sensitive, creative people, who, when a butterfly passes, stare at them, enjoying them. Obviously, these sensitive people are going to feel not understood by others. I enjoy this and others do not understand this, I feel that they look at me as a weirdo. They have strong thresholds. They feel out of the system. These feelings are in the background and the ego on top says: c rtense alone and make yours .
People of essence 5 (Group 1), are studious people, who love to analyze everything with the left hemisphere, understand reality, understand things. The others tell us that we are nerds, or weird guys because we like to study, grab a telescope, since we kids like the computer and they say these are rare . These children like to analyze since they were little, so everyone says: `` This boy came out weird. '' It is these children who, because of this, do not feel accepted by the others who perspire, who run, other than this one who is calm with a magnifying glass looking at things. Normally, that intellectual capacity that they have different makes them feel different and they feel a sense of non-acceptance from others. And the ego tells them: “You know what? stay in your body listening to music, with your computer, do not go to others. And with the others you will suffer, if you have a good time with yourself, why will you go with the others? So make your life. ” And he begins to feel that he has to isolate himself to be well.
The 9 (Group 1), is calm , takes time for everything, does things calmly, likes to get up late. And the father says he is lazy and the others say they are slow. “I have my time, others say that I am lazy, it is not that, it is that they do not understand me and I do not understand people, and I understand that I must be different because they do not love me like others. They put me on goalkeeper because I don't like to run, they score goals on me and I suffer, I prefer to stay at home ”. The ego tells them: “If you stay at home, don't go there, stay at home quietly. Do what you want with your time. ”
The typologies / Group 2 are at the service of all, 6 represents the care, attention of their family, and 7 are nice, pleasant people who get the joke easy and everyone laughs. People in this group feel the lack of affection because the initial experience was that they rejected us and we fear the fear that they will not love me. What does the ego tell us? “So that you do well in life and not be rejected again, you have to beg for love, you have to earn the love of others, you have to be great, give everything, attend to them completely and be nice and pleasant so that you they want, so that they do not reject you again, you have to comply with what they ask you and give you everything you can and thus begging for love they will not reject you again ”. The ego tells him: “dedicate yourself to others and very much !, so that they cannot live without you, because the more you dedicate yourself and the more they need you, the less they will move away from you. And the more they need you, you will feel loved . ”
And the strong typologies (Group 3) 1 like to have everything under control, 3 who like to be successful and 8 who like to have everything under their domain . These three energies that felt protected, that they felt at birth that they were being attacked and that they carry with them the sensation of having felt weak and that nobody defended them and that they are afraid of being assaulted again . These characters go through life and when someone approaches them, the ego tells them: “you hit. You mark territory, you mark territory and let them know that no one is going to enter with you and what? What's wrong with you? ” And so in this way or so, no one messes with me. Controlling winning or dominating, I go through life marking that no one gets with me because I have everything under control, I have all the money I need and all the strength I need too. Ego: "In any case you hit first, go forward and then I apologized." These essences that go like this in life the ego then tells them: “you attack, you mark territory, it shows that with your personality nobody gets in ”.
What does the Voice of the Ego take us to?
The voice of the ego leads us to self-fulfilling prophecy . This ego that is telling you to isolate yourself, I lived giving affection, or be strong in front of others, unfortunately leads us to an alley . And this alley that leads us is what usually happens in the lives of everyone here. That person who understood that isolating himself from others was the way to be happy and the way to not be abandoned again, he has a problem and is that isolating himself is left alone again . And in fact, try to make your desk, or your room your uterus . Either his painting workshop or his artistic environment makes his uterus, that is, he creates his environment again to be well. “And moving away from others, according to the voice of the ego I will be happy and what happens? I am not happy! And that, in the end, probably isolating myself, I do not suffer contact with others who do not understand me!
PART 1: the-primary-wound-of-the-inner-child-by-roberto-perez-part-1-comments-by-gisela-s /
PART 2: the-primary-wound-of-the-inner-child-by-roberto-perez-part-2-comments-by-gisela-s /
PART 3: the-primary-wound-of-the-inner-child-by-roberto-perez-part-3-comments-by-gisela-s /
PART 4: the primary-wound-of-the-child-interior-by-roberto-perez-part-4-comments-by-gisela-s /
REDACTORA: Gisela S., editor of the great family of the White Brotherhood.
SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCawb7aHOkY&t=691s
