Interview with Carl Honoré: “The time to be a child”

  • 2015

Raising a child should be a journey, take your hand and say: we will discover who you are, with all the mystery, uncertainty, joy and tears, ”says Carl Honoré. To move in this direction, you need to reduce speed and promote moments of silence, which invite you to look inside and find your own resources. And the school should open doors and teach children to love learning, to ask questions so that everyone finds their way. Thus, the transition from childhood to adulthood will be a more fluid transit.

How do you rate the evolution of childhood in recent decades?

For me the most significant feature is adult control of the smallest details in the child's life. Our society oscillates between doing too much and doing little. On the one hand, we take care of them and protect them with superhuman energy, we prepare their future, we create a perfect image of what a "perfect child", a "super-child" should be. On the other, we are not able to impose discipline. Parents, in particular, have lost the ability to say no. We spend a lot of time educating our children, teaching them things, taking them by car from one activity to another, from football to tennis or piano, but not enough being, just being, with them, listening to them, playing, chatting. There is something claustrophobic and intensely paranoid in relationships with children.

What are the causes of this situation?

A set of historical trends have come together. One of them is the globalization of the economy. The labor market is now more unstable. Before the employees were for life, you left the university and placed yourself immediately. Uncertainty generates a lot of anxiety and this manifests itself in an impulse to equip children for the future, which is excessive. Uncertainty and anxiety are in political speeches, in parents' conversations, in schools. And the question is how to equip the children and with what. The second trend is the culture of consumerism, which already existed in the twentieth century, but has reached its apotheosis in recent years, infecting all corners of our culture and colonizing our lives. Consumerism increases expectations, drives us to want everything perfect. We want perfect teeth, perfect bodies, a perfect kitchen, perfect vacations and also a perfect child that fits in the perfect family. It is not enough for a child to play kicking a ball. You have to be in a team and if possible in the league. It is all or nothing.

Then there are the demographic changes ...

Yes, today's families are the smallest in history. We get married at an advanced age and women are mothers, for the first time, at 39. All this creates anxiety and worry. The simple fact of having a child becomes very important, an enormous effort, a great investment of time and money. With only one child, you play it all on one card. You never have the experience of how different children are or how limited your influence on them can be. To shape them, we apply the culture of management and the results are that we professionalize as parents and lose contact with our natural instinct. There is a lot of fear and a lot of pressure from the environment so that we can do it very well, read many books, buy very expensive toys, with a lot of technology and take them to activities with experts, when, on the contrary, science tells us that the game, the Spontaneous play, is the most appropriate to develop the child's brain.

Would you say there is only one way to be a child or several?

Globalization promises us to increase our choice, but in reality it is restricting them. Today you can sleep in the same hotel in Barcelona, ​​London, Berlin or Tokyo. People follow the same fashion in South Korea and Andalusia, they listen to music on identical Ipod. And the same goes for childhood, we have created a standard ideal for the perfect child: very organized, very busy, always doing things controlled and survived by adults. That is why I wrote Under Pressure: I wanted to put into question the idea of ​​a unique child. Growing up doesn't have to be a career; some will read more soon, others will be very good at playing football and then lose interest in this sport. Each person has their own rhythm. Modern life imposes a very fast pace on everyone and does not accept error or failure. This creates an atmosphere of anxiety and fear that is not healthy. Childhood is a mirror, it reflects the good and the bad of each society.

That standardized child, doesn't he look more like an adult?

It is true, in a sense the children have become adults, but in another they are more childish. Let's say it goes in both directions. On the one hand, we press them to become adults more and more soon: they surf on google and watch pornography at seven years, they have very tight agendas. On the other, we childish them, we fear what may happen to them, we do not let them take risks, or go outside or go alone to school until 29 We keep them in a bubble. Childhood has become too valuable to be left to children; We want to control, measure, improve. Childhoodization and management are two aspects of the same. Before the appearance of the school, the children were very adults. Childhood is a modern construct, a product of our culture.

That does not exist in other parts of the world

Indeed, street children in Brazil or India lead adult lives, although they are also children. They need to meet basic needs of food, health, home, education. Should we export our western child model? The answer is no, because it doesn't work. From my experience in South America, I remember that they have an incredible spark and an amazing ability to play, laugh, be independent and create; They are very intelligent, very capable of surviving. They have much to teach us. They have time to roam the streets but, of course, they should go to school. However, there are positive things in that freedom. We have created two types of children: some are excessively controlled, overprotected and consented, and others have no control, no protection and no pampering. We should balance the situation, give more space and time to Western children and more food, health and school to those in the third world, respecting their freedom.

What are the consequences of this childhood model?

We are seeing them. Teachers complain about problem s, who have never been able to resolve four or five friends without an adult directing and controlling their game. So they have not developed that ability. On university campuses, young people who have never been allowed to assume their responsibilities feel unable to face everything. Mobile phones have become the longest umbilical cord in history and parents continue to direct their children, even to choose a job. If the goal of fatherhood is to help children be autonomous, we are failing. And yet, the economy needs people capable of thinking freely, of taking risks and challenges, of undertaking. What is the benefit of raising a generation that only knows how to follow the rules and enter the mold, instead of thinking outside of it?

A generation that has not lived its childhood fully ...

That he has lost the joy of being a child. We are depriving ourselves of that magical sound that is the laughter of children. That incredible children's ability to play and immerse themselves in an invented world: "see the world in a grain of sand and hold the infinite in the palm of your hand, " as William Blake said. Recently I saw a great vignette in the New Yorker magazine. A couple contemplates their newborn son, and one of them says: "Oh look, he will be a lawyer!" It's just a baby, but they already see it as a project. Raising a child should be a journey, take him by the hand and say, "We are going to find out who you are, " with all the mystery, uncertainty, joy and tears. But if you decide that your son will go to Oxford, he will be a lawyer and work at City Bank, where is the magic? Maybe he wants to be a musician, architect or journalist. In Spain, a record number of university students drop out in the first year of their career. Perhaps, for the first time in their life, they can ask themselves: “Who am I and what do I do in business?” And they discover that they want to be nurses or photographers.

Isn't building yourself a feature of adulthood?

The concepts of childhood and adulthood should be more fluid. The basic definition of the adult is that of someone who directs his life. With children there is a limit because they do not have the same abilities at two years as at fifteen. But gradually, at the right pace for each person, parents should give up control, give them the responsibility to make their own decisions.

What would a "slow" childhood be like?

It is a kind of balance. I am not advocating, at all, for laissez faire. Children need encouragement, pressure, competition, structure. But only occasionally, not always. They also need space to explore the world in their own way, at their own pace, to create, invent, even to get bored. Today we are terrified of boredom. We live in a "culture of doing" that does not contemplate the possibility of going slowly, stopping, even doing nothing. We are continuously busy, running in full electronic noise. No one enjoys a few moments of silence. This creates an artificial pressure, unnecessary. It takes time to look inside, to your own resources, to get through boredom and create. We adults also need to relax, rethink our relationship with time. When we reduce speed, we are able to feel more clearly. And if you feel more, you think and you are less distressed.

What do you do when you're in a hurry?

Before I used to always run and look at the rejoj. Now I still do many things quickly, but I no longer stress. And if it ever happens to me, I stop and tell myself why are you going so fast? Do you really need it or have you been infected by the virus in a hurry? And if there is no reason, I simply reduce the speed. It is very different and you do many more things. The paradox of slowing down is that you become much more productive. The human brain can only properly concentrate on one thing at a time. Trying to do several, at the same time, is inefficient and unproductive.

You see, do you have more time?

Yes, and you can feel it, it's not just that you have more space on your agenda, it's that time doesn't pass by so quickly and you can do the things you want. I take care of my children in the afternoon; Yesterday, after school, we went to the pool. Slowly it is easier.

Does technology accelerate our lives?

In reality, technology is a very useful tool, an incredible source of information and knowledge. But it becomes a problem when children spend six or seven hours daily before the computer. Some have 400 friends on Facebook, and not one to go to play the park. You have to find the balance.

A difficult task. Many parents and educators have already thrown in the towel.

It is something new, we are still creating standards and protocols to better use technology. But you have to set limits. Children really need to play, not with the Nintendo; They need real friends. Let's reflect on the way we use technology in the family and at school. Surely we can do something. I give an example, although it is not related to childhood. The English Prime Minister, David Cameron, at the first meeting of his cabinet, banned the use of Smartphones, mobiles, Ipod, Blackberrys, etc. Without devices, the sessions are more creative and productive. And if the ministers, all hyperactive, type A personalities, addicted to Blackberry, surgically connected to the Iphone, are able to turn them off for two hours, how can we not do it at school?

Do teachers also see children as projects?

The school system is part of a very controlling society that leaves no room to discover who you really are, to create. There are continuous exams, grades and data to memorize.

But a school without exams ...

The exams respond to the needs of control, of certainty. Politicians love figures, comparisons, classifications: such a number of Spanish children have obtained such results. And it can be very useful, but they are a limited tool. They create a kind of illusion, when they don't really say much about real skills and learning. In recent years, the school has become obsessed with assessments, as if they were the only measure of student value. And the pressure starts at six years old. We spend too much time classifying them into skill groups, selecting the best, when children evolve at different rates, they change from year to year. Putting them in boxes limits them. With the excess of exams many talents are lost; it's like repeating to them "you're not good, you're not going to get it".

What, then, would be the role of the school?

The school should open minds instead of closing them, exposing children to the greatest number of ideas, ways of thinking, to the best knowledge. Teach them to love learning, to be interested in things, to ask questions and be curious. Help each child find their way, discover their tastes and abilities. We need an open school that offers everyone the same opportunities. I don't think its function is to train boys for the best jobs. That comes later. We should prepare the greatest number of people to realize their full potential, to be able to think creatively, to work in a group, network, to solve problems in an interdisciplinary way. It takes time to change a system as complex as the educational one; It is a long but necessary process.

Would you consider eliminating the curriculum and giving schools more freedom?

Yes, but maintaining some structures. The official curriculum can be reduced to some essential points. In the atomized world in which we live, states need to preserve a body of common knowledge, a solid base, accessible to all. For example, a national history that citizens know and understand, some bases in mathematics, in science ... The rest would leave it free for the school and the teacher to choose the modalities, the right time. Flexibility allows each child, each family, each community to adapt. This is already happening in some countries, such as Finland. The educational systems that work best in the world are the ones that are most decentralized. Fortunately, there are positive changes everywhere.

Can you cite some examples?

A few months ago, in Canada, they opened the first outdoor nursery, something like a secret garden you are going to visit. It must be borne in mind that there the temperatures can go down to minus 20 degrees. Last year, Toronto became the first state in North America that has imposed strict limits on homework in all courses. And other states are considering doing the same. Here in England, the education minister intends to give schools and teachers more freedom. Everywhere, parents create groups to reflect on how to educate.

Do you think your book may have something to do?

It may be, but the crisis also influences. With less money, families eat more at home, buy less tech toys, spend less on extracurricular activities. And there is a kind of cultural movement that my book is a part of. Some people write to me saying that they are using it to rethink their school or their family. It's nice to feel that what you write has an effect on people.

Source: Slow Lifestyle

Source: https://cambiemoslaeducacion.wordpress.com

Interview with Carl Honor : The time to be a child

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