When I served as a counselor and spiritual teacher, I was visiting a woman invaded by cancer twice a week. I was forty-something and I was a school teacher. The doctors had predicted only a few months to live. Sometimes we said a few words during those visits, but most of the time we sat in silence. That was how he began to have the first glimmers of his inner stillness, which he had not learned to know during his hectic years as an educator. One day, however, I found her desperate and angry. "What happened?" I asked. I could not find her diamond ring, which had a very large monetary and sentimental value, and told me that I was sure that the woman who was going to take care of it for a few hours every day had stolen it. He said he didn't understand how anyone could be so cruel and ruthless as to do that to her. He asked me if I should face the woman or if it would be better to call the police immediately. I told her that it was impossible for me to tell her what to do but I asked her to reflect on the importance that a ring, or anything else, could have for her at that time in her life. "He doesn't understand, " he replied. “It was my grandmother's ring . I used it every day until I got sick and my hands swelled up . It is more than a ring for me. How could I be calm? The rapidity of his response and the angry and defensive tone of his voice indicated to me that he was not yet anchored enough in the present to look inside and separate his reaction from the event in order to observe them both. Anger and defensiveness were signs that the ego spoke through it. Then I said, “I will ask you a few questions, but instead of answering them immediately, try to find the answers inside. I will pause briefly between each one. When the answer comes, it may not come in the form of words. ” She said that she was ready to listen to me. Then I asked: “Do you realize that you will have to separate from the ring at some point, perhaps very soon? How much more time do you need to part with it? Will you lose something as a person when you part with it? Has that being that you are diminished because of the loss? ”There were a few minutes of silence after the last question. When he started talking again he smiled and seemed to feel at peace. “With the last question I realized something important. First I looked for an answer in my mind and what I heard was, 'of course you feel diminished. Then I asked myself the question again, is that what I am has diminished? but trying to feel instead of thinking the answer. And then I felt what I am. I hadn't felt that before. If I manage to feel what I am so strongly, then that which I am has not diminished at all. I'm still sorry; It is a feeling of peace but very vivid. ” "That is the joy of Being, " I said. “The only way to feel it is to get out of the mind. The Self must be felt, you cannot think. The ego does not know it because it is made of thought. The ring was really in your mind in the form of thought, which you confused with the sense of what it is. He thought that what you are or a part of you was in the ring. ” “Everything that the ego pursues and to which it attaches are substitutes for the Being that the ego cannot feel. You can value and take care of things but if you feel attached it is because it is the ego's thing. And we never really stick to things but to the thought that includes the notions of 'me', 'me' or 'mine'. Whenever we totally accept a loss, we transcend the ego, and then what we are emerges, that I Am that is the conscience itself. ” Then she said, "Now I understand something Jesus said and to which I had never found much sense: 'If someone asks for your shirt, give him your cloak too." "That's right, " I replied. “It does not mean that we should not close the door. It means that sometimes getting rid of things is a much more powerful act than defending or clinging to them. In the last weeks of her life her body weakened, but she became more and more radiant, as if a light shone inside her. He gave away many of his assets, some to the woman he suspected he had taken the ring, and with everything he delivered he deepened his happiness. When the mother called me to announce the news of her death, she also mentioned that they had found the ring in the bathroom cabinet. Did the woman return the ring, or had she been there all along? We will never know. But we do know something. Life puts us on the road the experiences we need most for the evolution of our consciousness. How to know if this is the experience you need? Because it is the experience you are living at the moment. Is it a mistake to be proud of what we possess or resent others for having more than us? At all. That sense of pride, the need to excel, the apparent strengthening of knowledge under m s and the waning under menos is not something good or bad : is the ego. The ego is not bad, it is simply unconscious. When we give ourselves the task of observing the ego, we begin to transcend it. It is not convenient to take the ego very seriously. When we detect egotistic behavior, we smile. Sometimes we even laugh. How could mankind take it seriously for so long? Above all, it is necessary to know that the ego is not personal, it is not who we are. When we consider the ego to be our personal problem, it is only a matter of more ego. Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth .

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The Lost Ring