How to be a good family leader?

  • 2019
Table of contents hide 1 How to reach the simplest person in the work community team ?, How to reach the simplest person? showing him that through the way we do things there are principles that we are holding. 2 It is not enough for people to do business well, but for good people to do business. 3 He who cares about doing things right can forget about being good. 4 If I understand this, the criterion of a Leader who is in charge of people, I insist, is that the team I have is that they are good people. 5 When I say being good, I talk about being a person. So the question is how much time do I spend doing things right? And how much time do I spend being a better person? 6 Always in a leadership priority is the welfare and not the benefit. 7 So the question is, is welfare more important than benefit? 8 One thing is to live together, and another is to live together. In a house you live together, in a home there is living together. The animals live together, and in a hotel we live together. But in a home there is coexistence, experiences are shared. Experiences are shared. 9 A spiritual leader takes care of the work environment. Take care that there is an area where we all breathe, values. 10 And then I will try to leave you here, a first key, as a kind of support. I ask that after all this they speak again or somehow continue. 11 A person's consciousness is precisely the dynamism between thinking, feeling and acting. Mind, heart and will. 12 What do our children want from us? What do people who work with us need? And what do our children need? May we be happy and may we be whole. 13 In a spiritual leadership the most important thing is integrity ... 14 Then we will put the first pillar of life, of the person who is leader, with a spiritual consciousness, integrity. 15 Every leader or organization in addition to training and instruction must have what I call motivation. 16 But now something else is coming, that educating is not this alone, mind, heart, and will. And I am going to put this with the graph of the triangle, mind, heart, and will. And what is here in the center? What is it? What is in the center is the spirit. It is the spirit. It is my interior. 17 Attitudes and values ​​make the formation of the spirit of the person a leader cares about the spirit of the climate, which is in his group and that is important. So now we understand this. 18 Then why do I say this? for the following, because we are going to see then what are the keys of a leader, which I call spiritual, because we speak of the interior of the person. 19 So let's see how it would be a positive leader of an organization? 20 They remember when I said that nobody is a pianist for buying a piano, and nobody is a father for having a child and nobody is a leader for having a position. A position does not make you a leader, you are a leader when you worry about all this. Because you are educating your people, you are educating your people. 21 The second central value in the positive leader is listening. 22 I repeat with everything I've learned, if I said What do we need most? From what I've checked, it's feeling heard. 23 And the third pillar that every leader must have, in his family as a father or mother or as a leader anywhere, because this is the same, I call it the three E. Building. 24 So am I building my people? Am I building my children? How am I doing it? Specifically? Well, you must tell them that I love them. Nerd. Anything else.

This article is about how to be a leader, the characteristics of a positive leader and a negative leader are analyzed, by calling it somehow. Not only will you learn to distinguish between one leader and another, but you will learn to be the leader in your family, to be a leader dad or mom, in the good sense of the word. In the most transcendental, spiritual and loving sense. Because as parts of a family, society, we are losing our horizons, I bring you this magisterial conference in which it brings us a little light and clarity to travel in a better way this evolutionary moment as a society. Argentine anthropologist Roberto Perez, gives us wonderful advice on how to co-build that society we want and crave, but obviously we have to start at home. It also explains all this in a wonderful way, with practical examples and everyday life, and invites us to share it, to all this learned throughout these wonderful minutes and words, with our loved ones. And the most important thing to take to our homes, because of the attitudes of each of us is that the world can be changed. Yes, it seems a lot, but it's true. Each small, well-intentioned attitude generates waves of good energy, such as a drop of water, forms the ocean and fills it with life. Let's be drops, beauty builders

Spiritual leadership by Roberto Pérez Comments by Gisela S.

The idea is that this meeting is that we have a more familiar, familiar approach in the sense that it is closer because this projection that begins with this search for a work culture or philosophy, the most important are you. I tell you sincerely, but in you there are people who are responding to you, in charge of you have people, some more, others less. When one is clear about the end, the means are generally easier. I repeat when one is clear about the end, the means are easier. If I want to get to such a place and I have it clear, I will look for the means to reach them, but if I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do. So, you have to have very clear principles, criteria that are going to be the base or the background, and you have to put the form, everyone on your team, the people, you have to put the right form. Then there is an operative part, which rests on you.

Whether they write or listen to me, whatever I say and listen to me, in the way they do what they are doing, there is a distance, there is a time. Each one has been doing things in a way, and each one strives to do it well, it happens to all of us, my idea is that what they are already doing, and are carrying forward, giving a greater background, a greater force to be able to know how to enrich it, how to change what I need for this project, which is this concern that we are all the best version of ourselves.

How to reach the simplest person in the work community team? How to reach the simplest person? showing him that through the way we do things there are principles that we are holding.

So what are these principles? What are those keys? What is the criterion where the way in which everyone has to do things is supported? I'm going there.

I will try to go a little messy, because I do not want to make a kind of organized and organized conference, but give them small keys ...

We are going to put a criterion that says like this:

It is not enough that people do the business well, but that people do good business.

I developed that thought, assembled it according to what I learned, but I am going to give you another thought from an Indian author, a Hindu thinker, says:

He who cares about doing things right, can forget about being good.

Then you understand me, don't you? Let's take it to the family or take it to the business, I don't care if my children do things well, I want them to be good people, and if they are dads or moms they will understand me perfect. I want my children to be people of good, not to do things well, not to succeed in what they do, which I also love, but I don't pay the price of their success but they are people of good.

I do not congratulate my children for the successes or my daughter for the successes that I have, I congratulate them when I feel they put love, dedication, depth, that is what I value of them, is the effort, the dedication, the desire. Everything you want to say, values.

If I understand this, the criterion of a Leader who is in charge of people, I insist, is that the team I have is that they are good people.

So, I do not care for a person who is absolutely efficient, but with their attitudes, does not have generosity, ability, desire to work in teams, concrete gestures of attention, disinterest. That is, attitudes are as important as successes, of course the question is this, what am I going to evaluate from the people in my charge? Not only efficiency and effectiveness, what it does, but really, if it has attitudes that correspond to what we want as a group.

I feel that the word community, I like more than team. The word community tells me that there is a group of people who have something in common, and what we have in common is a philosophy of life . If you absolutely agree with what I just told you now, each one in the evaluations you make with your people and in your own, the question is, can I forget about being good? Everyone do a process of introspection, how much time do you spend doing things right? And how much time do you spend to be a better person?

When I say being good, I talk about being a person. So the question is how much time do I spend doing things right? And how much time do I spend being a better person?

Then, to the extent that you invest time and dedication to deepen what I have just said or are contributing, you are growing as people . And accompanying that, the operative training in what you have to do, you are going to spread to the rest, that each one takes care of attending deeply . The future of what is coming now, for the entire work community, is a quantity, they will see it, concrete actions, concrete things that they will suffer, inviting, never imposing, inviting the person who has an interest s, who wants to overcome himself, to improve on this, whatever it is, there will always be responsible people who will stimulate that person to overcome. That I get to the best version of myself, that is, I would like to dedicate myself to that, we are going to support you. And or I need someone to guide me and guide me for this, I come to support you. I am needing to realize that I lack knowledge, see that we support you. What is being generated, little by little, are responsible people with concrete actions that will allow anyone who really is in a desire for self-improvement, those responsible for the community that corresponds, will stimulate, support, not just support them verbally but economically so that people overcome themselves.

The underlying question is, is that done so that the company can earn more? no. What is done, the most important thing is to change the planet . I say so, even if it seems crazy, if we do not start thinking differently, there will be no different world. Could it be that investing in people also has a side effect? But that is a side effect, but what is the side effect going to be? What if I love what I do, if I am happy doing it, my way of doing it and living that moment with the people I am, is going to have a level of commitment, dedication, which will make everything bear much more fruit. If each one tugs for himself, and does not think in the plural, if each one tries to take advantage, you know what a team of people is like, where there is envy, jealousy, where I am always trying to beat the other. You know what a group of people like that is. I always have to take care of myself, I feel distrust, I don't know if what they tell me is really what they want, they want to investigate me, they want to know something, they want to get me information.

Living in such a environment is sick, they demand me too much, they demand results and then they tell me that I have to be good. No. What we are carrying out, I as sponsor of this project, not that is not the idea. The idea is that we really believe again that it is possible to choose welfare rather than profit. And that write it down.

Always in a leadership priority is the welfare and not the benefit.

What do our children eat? Our children feed on the economic benefit that my work brings, well, but my children feed on my well-being as a person. That is a very important food. Let's see if they understand me. There are potatoes or moms who work hard, so that nothing is missing at home , but if that father or mother is always complaining, angry, worried, not wanting to play, not wanting to be, always absent, running, restless, without peace, the benefit you have with your food and your home and your things, is one . Someone will say he was a good father, I never lack anything, they understand me. Think of your parents and mine too.

But when I talked about that we are in a change of time it is because once and for all, we prioritize well-being. I would have liked to have less things but see my mother and father laughing more. I would have liked less, I would settle for less, but if there was music at home, we danced, we laughed, we played, if my father was playing with me, although if we were eating lentils every day, I prefer to eat lentils every day, I don't know if you understand me, but have a cheerful and excited dad by my side . A serious, severe dad with alcohol and cigarette addiction. Ah! but I never miss anything, having eaten every day, I was in a school. They follow me, that is… I prefer to have had less, but to have been with Dad who would have infected me that. That mom and dad would hold hands, hug, laugh.

So the question is, is wellness more important than profit?

I do not say that one thing replaces the other, they understand me well. So it is important to be good, not to do things right alone . Well-being is important, not just profit. So in a work team, in a team, in a work community, leaders have to take care of the weather. I love the word climate, because one, because the climate is the family climate, the working climate. The weather is the atmosphere, what you breathe. And you know what? The values ​​are atmospheric . You are present, for example, I arrive at the office of some of you, or the place where you are working, and I enter and I already breathe, I breathe kindness, cordiality, someone greets me, hello how are you, that I can serve you. They follow me or I arrive and nobody looks at me. And there dialogue with someone and tells me look at that I do not take care of that or he does not know who is responsible or look do not worry we are going to find the person who can guide you.

One thing is to live together, and another is to live together. In a house you live together, in a home there is living together. The animals live together, and in a hotel we live together. But in a home there is coexistence, experiences are shared. Experiences are shared.

What happens to me is shared, what I feel, there is an atmosphere of transparency, I can talk about what I feel, I don't have to keep quiet, defending. So, I ask you to be responsible for the climates in the places where you are. You are responsible.

A spiritual leader takes care of the work environment. Take care that there is an area where we all breathe, values.

So, for example, do you remember when you talked about boys from seven to fourteen? When a father does not understand that greeting and thanks is something very serious. And what is more serious is that than a bad note, I honestly when I perceive a work team, when I had to be in that activity, if you do not greet, go. You are not for that team, here in this team we all greet each other . I am sorry, here the greeting, is for us a sign of respect and dignity. But I work well, perfect, but you have to understand that in this team there are values ​​and attitudes. Either you understand this or you are not here. Your efficiency in what you do is not enough, we need attitudes that are important to us because we are interested in well-being and not only the result, not just the benefit.

And then I will try to leave you here, a first key, as a kind of support. I ask that after all this they speak again or somehow continue.

From now on when they see me, they will always see triangles, yes? Because the equilateral triangle in ..., I dedicate myself to mythology, to comparative religions, then the triangle means consciousness . I think, feel and act. So from now on when we meet, because it is a base, this is a skeleton on which a whole building rests.

A person's awareness is precisely the dynamism between thinking, feeling and acting. Mind, heart and will.

What do I do since I get up until I go to bed? I think, feel and act. That is the human condition, human consciousness is the permanent dynamism of thinking, feeling and acting. When this is in harmony we say that we have an integral person, who has integrity.

What is integrity? It is the harmony between thinking, feeling and acting. I will say it another way, that all he says and does is what he thinks and feels. That is a whole person. You use the word congruence, we in Argentina use the word coherence.

A congruent person is the one who tells me something and I know what he really thinks and what I really feel, not that he is telling me something because it looks good on me, not that he is saying something because it suits him that I listen to that for his benefit . Do not!. He tells me what he has to tell me and if not, he doesn't tell me, but if he tells me something he tells me I think that way and I know that what he thinks, what he tells me is what he thinks and feels. And those kind of people when they shake your hand, they squeeze your hand and look you in the eye.

In Argentina to the person who is not like that, that person who shakes your hand softly and looks down at you, in Argentina we tell you Ladino, Ladino is the person that you turn around and stick you with a knife . Today he tells you this but tomorrow he will tell you something else, if it suits him. Or he says one thing and she says another to look good with each one, he never truly has a way of being, thinking and feeling congruent.

What do our children want from us? What do people who work with us need? And what do our children need? May we be happy and may we be whole.

Remember when I spoke yesterday the importance of a lighthouse, if I have a boss who is not integral, who tells me one thing and then will do something else. He says one thing to me, and the other says something else because it suits him. How do I work with a boss who is not integral? I know that they say that you have to work for this and for that, but I later see that they act meanly and until later it is an advantage and even makes a profit. He tells me that this is important but then he does this.

My mom tells me that I don't have to say bad things about anyone when they are not present. But I see her picking up the phone and talking about a friend who is not present and says everything to the other, but mom is not being integral. She tells me not to do that and she does it.

He tells me that I have to take care of my dad, but he lives smoking dad. It is not congruent, it is not complete. What he does is not what he really thinks and feels.

In a spiritual leadership the most important thing is integrity ...

What is the enemy of a family, of an organization? The opposite of integrity and is mediocrity.

What is mediocrity? Think halfway, feel halfway and act halfway.

The mediocre person always accommodates, says the politically correct, fits the other. He says what the other wants to hear, does what is convenient for him, the mediocre is always the person who leaves as accommodating, and as I say and all that matters is convenience.

The whole person always cares for the best, the mediocre person only cares what suits him. It is handled for your convenience. It will tell you or do, according to the advantage it can have. It is always driven by interest. He never manages to try to think it's the best.

Then we are going to put the first pillar of life, of the person who is the leader, with a spiritual consciousness, integrity.

And they will see the following, a good leader always gathers around thinking people, intellectually or professionally valuable people. A leader, a bad leader a negative leader is surrounded by mediocre. Look at politics and understand me well.

A negative leader is surrounded by mediocre people who do what suits them, they have them as a convenience. In Latin America, unfortunately, many political leaders, you realize who surrounds you and that is how you realize who you are.

The true leader looks for thinking people, professionals because with them he can take what he wants to move forward. The other wants to look for mediocre people who flatter him, who can use him, who buy them, who give them the benefits they want, and have a herd of mediocre people who support or sustain them.

In my dear country, there is much of this, many mediocre people, living from the corruption of a government, follow me. So the big problem we have is that what we have with what we have to fight is against mediocrity, I don't want to have teams of mediocre people. I want integral people, to me the efficiency with which you do things is not enough for me, it matters to me that you are integral.

Then the whole person will do the one who permanently worries about taking, thinking, feeling and acting in harmony. In that process, there are three things that generally when one is carrying forward, as a group leader, this is education. What does the leader of your group care about? I will say it later, but it is education.

What is education? Look well, in a team from the highest part, to the middle down, I always have to try to have an instruction, the instruction is to give the people who are With me, the knowledge you need to do things right. We all have to be educated, people who are with me have to have an intellectual capacity and knowledge of how to do that well. And you will probably call an instructor and the person understands what you are offering, what you are selling or what you are doing. I need someone intellectually, to be well instructed, in what they have to do. An organization has to call people to instruct others.

In the educational process there is also the training, which has to do with, the instruction has to do with the mind, and the training has to do with the operational . I have to train people, so they know how they have to do things. One thing is training, and another is instruction.

I have to teach him theoretically, I have to teach him how to do it. That is training and that is instruction.

Every leader or organization in addition to training and instruction must have what I call motivation.

In other words, sometimes, we need someone to motivate us, and the motivation is that there are motivators in the organization, there are people who come to give you strength, to say we are still going, this goes to the family too. This goes to my children too. I tell him things, I tell him how to do them and the reasons. That is, three pillars of education, motivate. If you don't motivate your people, you are failing. If you do not instruct and do not train or seek someone to train you, you are failing, it is the three legs, training me, instructing me and being trained, it is essential.

Imagine that I arrive at a place and say so (discouraged) hello that as they are, they say, like this. In other words, this state of mine, if or yesterday they listened to me with my whole being, I put all my strength into them, that is, I have to motivate the people who are with me. I don't have to do weird things, I just have to put the passion, the desire and the enthusiasm.

My children when we woke up in the morning, come on, go forward, play music, understand me. Imagine there is total silence and there is a bad face, you understand me. How do you win the day, if those who have to ... my parents do not.

Unfortunately when I look for myself, for my story, there was no mother to say come on Robert, we still have the morning come, let's get up. Do not get up, go, come, do this, bring the other. The truth was that it was a hoax to get up in the morning sometimes at home, because I had a director, I did not have a cheerful mother who would raise me and sometimes my father would get up and never kissed .

So watch, let's see. Each one, I am not going to tell you what you have to do, I just tell you, you are motivating your people. Are you motivating your people? Are you worried that they are instructed? Are you worried about training? You have to be aware of that, you know, do things right, the person?

But now something else is coming, that educating is not this alone, mind, heart, and will. And I am going to put this with the graph of the triangle, mind, heart, and will. And what is here in the center, what is it? What is in the center is the spirit. It is the spirit. It is my interior.

And education is not just education, instruction and motivation. It is also formation., We must form our spirit, and formation has to do with attitudes of healthy lives, values.

So education is not just this, it is to train and then if I preside over a group of people, I have to try to make them trained, to have healthy values ​​and attitudes that I want them to live.

So that's what I said at the beginning, see? How important it is that we do not forget that it is not enough to do things well and that we forget to do things well . The formation of people, the formation of people is important. Of course when I talk about the father and son relationship it is easier to understand, but be careful. I also train my work team, I train it too. When we talk about such a thing, when I say something, when I say look, this value is important to me, this attitude is important. Do not close, excite, learn how I said to work in a team. If you are wrong, report it, but do not transfer your discomfort to the rest, you have the right to be wrong, but what you have the right is to attack others, or affect others because of your discomfort. You have the right to be wrong, what you do not have the right is to hurt anyone for being wrong.

Take it home and take it to work, the same. Having the right to have a bad time, what you don't have the right is to hurt for that. So a team, someone came wrong and crossed good is all good, but be careful you have no right to treat badly to have negative attitudes.

Attitudes and values ​​make the formation of the spirit of the person, a leader cares about the spirit of the climate, which is in his group and that is important. So now we understand this.

Thinking, feeling and acting, form INTEGRITY.

Train me in what I have to do and say, instruct myself to know things well, have motivation and motivate and also train in attitudes and values . The big change that is going to be in this whole new culture strategy is that you also have to be formators . Not only do they have to be watching that everything is done well, we have already passed to another level. I am interested that good people are in the teams

Nobody has, with what I say, do not misunderstand me, here it is not about imposing anything on anyone, it is about getting those healthy values ​​and attitudes impregnated throughout the group. That is the difference that permeates healthy attitudes and values ​​throughout the community. That is what is intended, not that the other is or does something different. If this is intended to be internalized in us, and then the question, and therefore we must not forget the motto of this, is what worries me? What do I want, what do I want? I long as a guide, as your leader, as who is at the forefront of the task we are doing, I long for, I wish you to reach your best version . It is important for me, to support you and help you to overcome what you need to improve yourself. It is important to me that you do not lack what you need from me, so that you surpass yourself in anything, not only in performance. But in the things you need, to be better.

Then that has to do with the formation of a team, then at the level of the entire organization there are people who are going to have this in charge, but this is going down in waterfalls, each one, someone is going to have a general level and this is going down, going down to each group, then the people who are in that place where others are depending on you, the follow-up, the accompaniment, the attention of them, always points to the same. I understand this, this is clear.

So why do I say this? for the following, because we are going to see then what are the keys of a leader, which I call spiritual, because we speak of the interior of the person.

Because training is the operative, the instruction is in the mind, the motivation is in the force, but the spirit has to do with the inner.

So let's see how it would be a positive leader of an organization?

And for that I will try to compare it with the other, with a negative leader. With someone who is in charge of leadership in a negative or positive way, we will try to put the pillars, here I already said something, I already know that as an educator in my family, and in charge of the people I have, This is key. A m me interesa todo esto, que mi gente este capacitada, instruida y motivada y que tenga claro los valores y las actitudes que tenga que tener, eso para m es importante. Ahora yo s que como l der de mi grupo a me interesa todo esto, si a alguien de mi grupo le falta capacitaci n lo capacito, si a alguien le falta instrucci n, lo instruyo si a alguien le falta motivaci n, lo motivo. Pero si alguien no tiene claro los valores y actitudes tambi n de las muestro, pero primero se los contagio y despu s se las muestro para que la viva conmigo. Y cuando evalu el rendimiento de alguien, no evalu solamente la capacitaci n, sino todo. l se dedic a instruirse bien en lo que estaba, se instruy cada vez m s, se capacito, el tambi n le pone motivaci na lo que est haciendo, y tambi n tiene las actitudes sanas y los valores que queremos. Ah lo evalu totalmente a la persona.

No evalu su rendimiento solamente, y atenci n tambi n me interesa que este motivada, sino est motivada, sino tiene entusiasmo, si perdi las ganas, no me da lo mismo trabajar con gente sin ganas que con ganas. No te puedo obligar a que tengas ganas, no se trata de eso, pero en qu te puedo servir para que recuperes las ganas? Qué te está pasándote que no tenes ganas? Tengo un problema personal. Bueno vamos a ver, no soy psicólogo, esto y lo toro, pero sé que la organización está tratando de encontrar maneras de asistencia para cosas que puedan ocurrir. Yo sé que si hay alguna situación de estas, la puedo derivar o te puedo acompañar, o hay personas especializadas en psicología, en conocimiento de lo que sea, que van a darte un apoyo, un sostén. Porque no me es indiferente si estas con ganas o sin ganas, eso es un líder positivo. Ese es un líder espiritual.

No que solamente mire el rendimiento, entonces yo necesito esas ganas tuyas, no yo la necesita, la necesitamos como equipo, a tus ganas. Entonces si algo se está perdiendo de motivación, decime donde está, y si hay alguna falla la buscamos, no te quedes indiferente, no te de lo mismo. No. ¿Qué está pasando? Entonces cada uno vea, estas cosas que digo.

Why? Porque todo líder positivo lo que tiene que hacer primero, es educar a su gente, educar a su gente, eso es un líder, eso es un padre, eso es una madre positiva, eso es una persona que tiene gente a su cargo, lo trata de educar, ¿Qué es educar Roberto? Todo esto. Que se capacite, que se forme, que tenga conocimientos, que tenga ganas, y que tenga formación en valores.

Se acuerdan cuando dije que nadie es pianista por compra un piano, y nadie es padre por tener un hijo y nadie es líder por tener un cargo. Un cargo no te hace líder, sos líder cuando vos te preocupas de todo esto. Porque estas educando a tu gente, estas educando a tu gente.

El líder positivo siempre busca educar, en cambio el líder negativo, lo que le interesa es convencer a su gente. No educarla. La quiere convencer, y va a buscar argumentos de presión para convencerlo. Vos tenes que hacer esto, porque te voy a dar esto, porque tenes este premio, porque si no vas a ser castigado. Lamentablemente el líder negativo utiliza presiones de premio y castigo para convencer a la gente. El líder positivo lo educa para que el otro sienta por el mismo, el deseo de superarse, de crecer a la mejor versión de sí. Al líder negativo no le importa que de la mejor versión de mí, lo que le importa que haga lo que yo le diga, y lo voy a convencer por las buenas o por las malas. Si es por las buenas mejor, le doy un premio, si es por las malas lo castigo.

Un padre que es un líder negativo en su familia, es el que siempre educa con premio y castigo. Si no haces esto, te castigo con esto, si hace esto, te doy este premio. No ese es un líder negativo. Porque el chico lo hace por el premio castigo, lo hace por el bonus que va a ganarse a fin de año, lo hace por el premio que le van a dar. Yo no tengo personas educadas, tengo personas convencidas e incluso convencidas, no porque estén convencidas ellas del valor de lo que estamos haciendo, sino convencidas de que si no van a ser premiadas o castigadas. El líder negativo busca convencer, el líder positivo busca educar con todo lo que digo.

El segundo valor central en el líder positivo es escuchar.

Por eso si yo pudiera auditar tu tarea, cada uno de ustedes, si tú tienes diez personas contigo, una vez por mes tenes que tener media hora, mínimo, en una charla personal con cada uno. O sea en un mes, tú tienes que tomarte el tiempo de tener mínimo media hora de charla con, pero no charla operativa como mostrame lo que estás haciendo, no, no. Sentémonos a hablar, tomemos un café tranquilo, hablamos de persona a persona. ¿Cómo estás? ¿Necesitas algo?, ¿Necesitas algo?, miren que importante. ¿Necesitas algo? Díganme sino, a ver, vamos a ser sinceros en la vida personal y familiar. ¿Qué pocas veces usamos esa palabra, necesitas algo? ¿Por qué no al decimos muy seguido? Porque una vez que lo digo, me llega a decir la lista de lo que necesita, me muero. Entonces no le pregunto nada, ¿para qué le voy a preguntar?

Pregúntale a tu esposa lo que necesita, vas a ver que te hace la lista. No mejor no le pregunto por qué después me muero, porque tengo responder todo eso.

Siempre digo esto, no para quejarme de mi hermano, porque lo quiero con toda mi alma, pero la realidad de nosotros, no ahora, pero antes cuando yo me dedicaba a toda la parte más reflexiva, docente y él era un empresario. Con lo cual, con todo cariño, el tenía más plata que yo. Vamos a hacerlo fácil. Y por las razones que fueran, no como critica, sino para que me entiendan. Nunca me dijo ¿Robert necesitas algo? ¿Necesitas algo? yo no hubiera nunca abusado, si me lo hubiera preguntado, pero nunca me lo pregunto. De hecho, no voy a decir quienes, uno está presente, pero en mi historia, tengo 58 años, y en mi historia de vida, tengo tres personas, tres hombres, hombres, varones con cierta edad, que me han dicho Robert ¿necesitas algo para apoyarte en lo que estás haciendo?

Qué difícil es encontrar a alguien que te diga ¿necesitas algo? un líder positivo habla con su gente, pero no habla, la escucha. Acuérdense de lo que dije, de que el arte de dialogar no es el arte de hablar, es el arte de sentirnos escuchados. Entonces si yo tuviera, con respeto, para evaluar la tarea de ustedes como líderes, ¿Cómo están escuchando a su gente? No si están hablando con ellos, ¿cómo? ¿La gente de su equipo se siente escuchada? ¿Cuánto tiempo de tu tarea mensual has dispuesto para sentarte con un café, un té a hablar? No se trata de hablar de intimidades o de cosas que por ahí la persona, no, no se trata de obligar a nadie. Es aquí estoy, ¿te puedo servir en algo?

Van a ver qué pasa algo maravilloso, en la vida todos necesitamos sentirnos escuchados. ¡Qué increíble!

Repito con todo lo que he aprendido, si yo dijera Qu es lo que m s necesitamos? Por lo que he comprobado, es sentirnos escuchados.

Por eso los psic logos nunca les va a faltar plata, me entienden? Porque algo que n ecesitamos todos es sentirnos escuchados . Entonces yo si tuviera que evaluar tu trabajo, como l der de un grupo, es Cu nto los escuchas? Se sienten escuchados? Qu tiempo le pones a eso? Pero adem s hay un arte, no se trata de que te quiera escuchar porque me dijeron que tengo que escucharte. No!, as no funciona, es un arte. Veni queres un caf ? Te preparo yo l te. O sea que la persona se sienta, y se sienta como recibida, y que sepa que l tiene siempre el espacio para poder hablar conmigo. No que me tiene miedo, no que no me quiere molestar, sino que cuenta conmigo.

Un l der positivo, un papa positivo, una mama positivo, que tienen que ser l deres, lo son cuando sus hijos pueden contar con ellos. No cuando le molesta a papa que le hable de esto, cuando mama se pone a llorar, cuando le hablo de esto. Sonamos, no son l deres para sus hijos. El l der positivo escucha atentamente. En qu te puedo servir? Qu necesitas? No te voy a dar consejo, no la juego de yo se que profesionales que van a orientarte si hace falta pero en que e puedo servir? Y si yo durante el tiempo en que nos sentamos a hablar, si veo que viene con mala cara, que pasa esto. Voy observ ndolo, voy observando y en el momento en que me siento con l, que l sabe que tenemos ese momento peri dico de tiempo, digo mira te estuve observando y vi esto y lo otro, no para criticarte, no para juzgarte, pero algo esta pas ndote. No me da lo mismo que est s bien o que est s mal. Me importa tu bienestar . No que tengas solamente lo que necesitas econ micamente. Ese el l der positivo. El que sabe escuchar, y el que educa a las personas que est na su cargo.

El l der negativo, lo que normalmente hace es buscarlos convencer y tambi n busca complacerlos . En Argentina, no nombro a quien para no tirar tierra, yo para poder tratar de tenerlos a mi lado, o tratarlos de tenerlos para mí, les doy subsidios, entonces les hago subsidios y subsidios entonces con subsidios la gente me vota. Una manera de capturar a la gente, es convencerla y complacerla con subsidios. Pan y circo. Hacemos cosas lindas para que las pasen bien, entonces les hacemos fútbol para todos, entonces son millones y millones de pesos que se ponen para que la gente vea fútbol y este feliz. Entonces la gente feliz con fútbol que yo se lo doy, me vota. Busco complacerlos. No, el líder escucha, no complace. Che mira si me haces este favor, yo te hago esto, mira te voy a dar esto. No, no trato de ganarme a nadie componiéndolo, quedando bien. Do not.

Y el tercer pilar que todo líder debe de tener, en su familia como papa o mama o como líder en cualquier lado, porque esto es lo mismo, yo lo llamo las tres E. Edificar.

¿Qué es edificar? Estimular, valorar, levantar la autoestima. Empecemos en la familia, a veces me pasa que le digo a Sebastián, gracias Sebe. ¿Por qué papa? Porque están lindo estar con vos y hablar de lo que hablamos y todo. Ah pero no tenes que agradecérmelo. Sí. Te digo gracias, porque me hace mucho bien, estar juntos. O por ahí le mando un whatsapp a mi hija y le digo Flor gracias por lo que sos ya veces me olvido de decírtelo. Lo hago eh y me divierto viendo la reacción del otro lado. La primera vez, papa no te entiendo pero gracias. O no te entiendo pero un beso, era así. Estimular, edificar.

Se acuerdan lo que dije ayer, en un matrimonio si yo burlo a mi mujer, o la desapruebo, o la ninguneo, como dicen allá en Argentina, delante de mis hijos, es lo peor que puedo hacer. Los chicos empiezan que papa no valora a mama, y se acostumbran a hacer lo mismo entre ellos. Do not! un líder tiene que edificar, tiene que levantar siempre la autoestima de su equipo y si alguien hizo algo valioso, hay que resaltarlo, no siempre porque premiarlo monetariamente, pero si resaltarlo . Hacer un agradecimiento. Yo les digo ideas, ideas. En un momento dado, llegando a fin de año, hice una carta abierta a mi equipo de trabajo y le mando una carta que les llego, en papel no por mail. Carta abierta a mi equipo de trabajo y les dije quiero agradecerles por esto, quiero resaltar esto, quiero decirle que nos está faltando esto y que tenemos que apuntalando a esto, pero abrí todo lo que sentía y lo puse en un papel, y se lo di a cada uno. Y especialmente era una carta abierta para todos, pero a cada uno, le puse un párrafo especial para cada uno, o sea que estaba el que recibía todo pero aparte el párrafo que le correspondía y ahí le ponía, en forma personalizada lo que yo pensaba de él o de ella. O lo que había visto en un año a su lado. Y resaltaba siempre lo positivo, nunca era critica, siempre era mira sé que te costó muchísimo pero que bueno esto. Siempre era buscar lo positivo, y resaltarlo. Y cerrábamos el año, con esa carta abierta a mi equipo de trabajo.

Jueguen con otra cosa, hagan otra idea, otra idea. Tengo mil ideas para darle de forma práctica pero los invito a que cada uno entienda, la importancia de como estoy edificando a mi gente.

Por ejemplo a ustedes ya se los dije que pena que un papa diga “ah tu hermana lo hace mejor, vos no lo hagas porque tu hermana lo hace mejor”. ¡ Qué pena que comparemos!.

Entonces ¿estoy edificando mi gente? ¿Estoy edificando a mis hijos?, ¿cómo lo estoy haciendo? ¿Concretamente? Bueno debes en cuando les digo que los quiero. Nerd. Algo más.

Yo les decía a uno de ustedes, llegas a casa y ¿agarras el cuaderno de los chicos? O ¿lees el cuento que les están contando en el colegio? O sea sabes ¿cuál es el cuento o el libro que está leyendo tu hija o hijo en el colegio? No, no tengo ni idea, pero ¿cómo? Porque entonces lo lindo seria que leas el cuento o el librito que está leyendo tu hija en el colegio o tu hijo y después te sientes y en la mesa donde hablas tantas huevadas, te pongas a hablar del cuento ese, o del libro ese. Y comentes a ver que piensa ella, y después le digas que lindo que leíste, me encanto lo que estás diciendo, que bueno que sacaste esta conclusión. Pero si no me involucro, ¿de qué hablamos? De cosas genéricas, encima lo interrumpo con el celular mientras me está hablando, interrumpo con el celular, todo patético, ¿me entienden?

Entonces arte, dedicación y buscar la manera de edificar al otro. Pero me tengo que involucrar.

REDACTORA: Gisela S., editor of the great family of the hermandadblanca.org.

FUENTE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O-VGSi-mVo&t=3129s

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