The fear of loneliness is part of our difficulty in knowing ourselves. When we are afraid of being alone there is always something we want to run away from, many times it is something in our inner world that we may not like but life puts us thousands of tests so that we can see that without our knowing. Many times they appear as diseases that prevent us from attending work or force us to stay away. Our response to this situation is against the disease, thinking that we want to relieve ourselves soon and that we no longer want that situation, so we take remedies and medications but without paying attention to what the disease means. At other times it can be presented as situations in which we lose that person that was so important to us either because the relationship ended or because that person died. Our natural response is the process we know as a duel, but many times that duel is not brought to an end but rather we seek with whom to replace that person quickly without giving us the time to explore what is happening inside us. Sooner or later that situation or that aspect of which we want to flee reappears, sometimes we feel a deep dissatisfaction towards life we get angry, we get bored and everything that is around us affects us thinking that something outside should change when we have not really been aware that what must change is something inside.
See our interior
Seeing ourselves is not easy, the fear of loneliness will be present, we will always find ourselves with endless things that we did not even know existed and that we constantly denied, that is why we seek to avoid them. But there comes a time in our life where it becomes impossible to deny all that is inside . It constantly appears in every situation, in every person we meet daily and yet we continue to blame everything external to our situation.
The problem arises in large part because of the education we have received. Part of it is to think that we should always be accompanied, get married, have children, which undoubtedly translates into fear of loneliness within our mind. In this western society they never taught us to look inward; They always showed us what we should do with our lives but everything always aimed at getting material things to have connections etc., but they never told us that to achieve all that we first had to have a good relationship with our internal world . They never told us that what we see outside is nothing more than a reflection of what we carry inside.
Many seek to have peace of mind in their lives by making decisions such as consuming substances that alter the chemistry of their body, others prefer to buy things that make them feel more valuable or more prestigious, others decide to have power, others to show the charitable and Good they are. But all this only to show an external image that covers the misery in which we live internally.
It is hard for us to be with ourselves because we are a stranger, but a stranger with whom we live continuously, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, so no matter how much we try to flee we can never leave it behind. We must practice self-knowledge to stop being strangers of ourselves.
Self-knowledge
If you see that this is what is happening in your life then it is time to make a decision and change the look, start to see what is inside without neglecting what is outside, because what is outside is the best way to know If the inside has improved or remains just as bad .
You can start by taking a couple of minutes in the day to be completely silent with your eyes closed, no television, no radio, no people around you who are talking to you. At first two minutes will seem like an eternity, you will think that you are wasting your time, you will think about everything you have to do and more thoughts will come to you than usual. This is normal because the mind is always going to resist this change, she wants to keep control so she will constantly tell you that this is useless, that you have a million more important things, that you look like an idiot doing this kind of practices. The mind will look for any strategy to make you give up. But if you continue trying you will realize that it is becoming easier to do it and without realizing it, five, ten or twenty minutes passed. You will feel more serene. In the silence is the self-knowledge.
Do things you would never do like going to the movies alone or alone, or going to a restaurant without company . It is normal for you to feel a freak, everyone has the same programming as you and they will be supporting your mind to push you to give up the task. But over time you will see that it is becoming easier for you and you enjoy your company more than those things that you thought you could not do alone now you do even better because you enjoy them. You are learning to know what you like without the opinion of others.
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell your reflection that you love him . It is necessary that you learn to accept yourself as you are beginning with what you see. If what you see seems ugly, imagine what you will feel when you see what is inside of you. So start by seeing how beautiful you have outside so that when you enter your inner world you can discover that not only what is there is bad but that you are also full of beautiful things and that it is worth showing them to the world.
Entering that world is a difficult challenge that lasts a long time but with each advance you will notice how your life improves.
Author: JP Ben-Avid
Editor hermandadblanca.org
