How to remove anger: neuroscience asks to apply 3 new and amazing secrets

  • 2019

Your face is boiling red with rage, all you want to do is scream and scream again, it seems that this is not going to be good for anyone ... but do you know how to remove the anger you have? I invite you to know the 3 most efficient ways to get rid of anger, in addition, because they are backed by neuroscience. You are welcome!

How to remove anger?
you will see that feelings of anger will plummet and good feelings will increase. Here is the secret when responding how to remove anger?

As a professional in the Human Area, I have spoken and written before about how to treat other people who are angry, irritated and irrational, but at this time, I would like to do it in reverse, because not yet He had done it. As a person how to remove anger in yourself?

It is a little difficult because many times looking outside is relatively easy, but looking inside us is difficult, and even uncomfortable.

However, the idea is that we take off from that fear of knowing, thinking and evaluating ourselves, loving ourselves as we are and living our own life experience. But that would be flour from another sack, for now, let's focus on how to remove anger in yourself.

To do this, I would like to look at neuroscience, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. I will explain it to you in detail.

How to remove Anger according to Neuroscience

... you will see that feelings of anger will plummet and good feelings will increase. Here is the secret when answering how to remove anger?

So, I invite you to deepen this investigation on how to get rid of anger, you will know what you are doing wrong, you will know how to do it well and how you can make you and those around you much happier. That is the challenge !, difficult ?, I think not !, let's start.

Suppressing anger is rarely a good idea.

It happened to you that in an event of anger you clench your teeth, hold them, and ensure that you are well.

The good news is that suppression works, it leads you to repress your feelings and not look angry. However, it is usually always a bad idea, very bad!

If you keep your anger out and fight your feelings, all you will start to form is a monster, your feelings will be stronger!

The writer Oliver Burkeman in his work "The antidote: happiness for people who cannot stand positive thinking", ensures that:

“… When experimental subjects are told an unhappy event, but then they are instructed to try not to feel sad about it, they end up feeling worse than people who are informed of the event, but are not instructed on how to feel. In another study, when patients suffering from panic disorders listened to relaxation tapes, their hearts beat faster than patients who listened to audio books without explicitly "relaxing" content. The bereaved people who make the greatest effort to avoid feeling sorry, according to research, take longer to recover from their loss. ”

Now, when you try to avoid crying, the tears are not cathartic, the truth is that you do not feel better afterwards. Anger also happens with our friend.

What happens in the brain when you try to suppress anger ? In reality, all you will achieve will be a whole river of bad and distressing realities.

Your ability to experience positive feelings decreases, but not for negative feelings.

Stress triggers, and your tonsil (a part of the brain closely related to emotions) starts working overtime.

You see how to remove anger is not such an easy topic to strengthen in our lives. Let's continue…

The Stanford University Professor and psychologist James J. Gross, through his "Manual of emotion regulation", indicates that:

... experimental studies have shown that suppression leads to a decrease in the experience of positive but not negative emotion (Gross, 1998a; Gross & Levenson, 1993, 1997; Stepper & Strack, 1993; Strack, Martin and Stepper, 1988), an increase in the responses of the nervous system (Demaree et al., 2006; Gross, 1998a; Gross & Levenson, 1993, 1997; Harris, 2001; Richards & Gross, 2000), and greater activation in brain regions generating emotions such as the amygdala (Goldin, McRae, Ramel, & Gross, 2008).

Amazing! If you repress your feelings, your situation as an angry person will gradually get worse. It is like when someone lights a forest, that initial flame gives rise to a catastrophe of great proportions.

When you hold your emotions, blood pressure spikes are not good.

Studies show that in the long term this can lead to lousy relationships that are not so rewarding.

My what James J. Gross says in another section of his "Manual of regulation of emotions":

“Socially, experimental studies have reported that suppression leads to less sympathy on the part of social interaction partners, and an increase in peer blood pressure levels (Butler et al., 2003). Correlational studies support these laboratory findings. People who usually use suppression report that they avoid close relationships and have less positive relationships with others; This fits in with peer reports that suppressors have relationships with others who are less emotionally close (English, John, & Gross, 2013; Gross & John, 2003; Srivastava, Tamir, McGonigal, John, & Gross, 2009) .

Definitely, fighting your feelings uses a lot of willpower, which results in you having less control of yourself. This makes you more likely to do things that you will regret after being angry.

The Text Why do bad moods increase self-destructive behavior? Says that:

“… Bad mood encourages risk taking by altering self-regulation instead of altering subjective utilities. Studies 5 and 6 showed that risk trends are limited to unpleasant moods accompanied by high excitement; neither sadness nor neutral excitement resulted in destructive risk. ”

When asked how to remove anger ? And applying the arguments we have known so far, maybe you could be saying: "I knew that bottling my feelings was bad! I should let that anger out!"

In the face of this position, there are also several arguments that I wish to share with you in the following of this Article.

You can also read: Emotional Rage

Don't vent your anger

If you start hitting pillows, the wall, or even other people, it will never be a good idea.

Look, basically, venting your anger does not reduce it, if you ventilate it, your emotion begins to intensify.

In his book "Manual of regulation of emotions" James J. Gross, indicates that:

... focusing on a negative emotion will probably further intensify the experience of that emotion and, therefore, will hinder negative regulation, which will lead to less adjustment and well-being.

So, the invitation is that you share your feelings with other people constructively, it will always be a very good idea. However, "getting them out" aggressively ventilating your anger, this action tends to increase it in quite high proportions.

You may be wondering ... but, in reality, how to remove anger ? What would work? Ideally, you should start by distracting yourself, and why would distraction help? Because your brain has limited resources at that time. If you think of other totally different and positive things, it means that you have less mental capacity to think about bad things.

Know these investigations:

Research suggests that it is because both cognitive tasks and emotional responses use the same limited mental resources (Baddeley, 2007; Siemer, 2005; Van Dillen and Koole, 2007) ... That is, the resources used to perform a Cognitive homework is no longer available for emotional processes. Consequently, people can get rid of unwanted feelings by participating in a cognitive activity, such as doing mathematical equations (Van Dillen and Koole, 2007), playing a Tetris game (Holmes, James, Coode-Bate and Deeprose, 2008) ...

Do you know that famous marshmallow test that has often been shown on television for research?

Those who investigate place a child alone in a room with marshmallows. If the child can resist eating it, they get two marshmallows later. Children who succeeded in waiting achieved better grades and more success in life ; besides that his performance caused them to get rid of jail, just kidding !, it was just an experiment.

This study has given much to talk about, everyone has wanted to say, however, what they don't usually talk about is how successful children avoided temptation; how did they not be tempted by those powerful mental emotions "eat me! eat the marshmallow now!"

For this questioning, the answer is clear, they distracted themselves .

Walter Mischel, who was the researcher who led the famous study, explains in his book "The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control", that:

Successful delays created all kinds of ways to get distracted and cool the conflict and stress they were experiencing. They transformed the situation of aversive waiting by inventing imaginative and fun distractions that eliminated the fight of willpower: they composed small songs (“This is a very beautiful day, hell!”, “This is my house in Redwood City”), He made funny and grotesque faces, took out their noses, cleaned their ear canals and played with what they discovered there, and created games with their hands and feet, touching their toes as if they were piano keys.

Obviously, distracting yourself also works with other "hot" emotions, such as anger.

I know that when someone screams in your face it is very difficult to distract you, or when someone tells you lies or hurts you. However, there is a wonderful way to make this easy and attractive, it is best supported by research in neuroscience. I will tell you about it.

The answer? "Re-evaluation"

I invite you to imagine the scene in which someone is shouting at you, just an inch from your face.

Our human reaction is to yell at you, defend yourself, and even hit you. But what if I told you that his mother passed away yesterday, or that they were going through a hard divorce and simply lost custody of their children? Most likely, you would let it go, moreover, I am absolutely certain that you would respond to their anger with compassion.

What changed? It is not the different event, the situation is the same, but the story they are telling you about the event changed everything.

The famous Albert Ellis, a cognitive psychotherapist who invented rational emotional therapy, said: "Don't get frustrated by events, get frustrated by your beliefs"

In the light of these investigations, the results show that when someone is exploiting you, a good way to "re-evaluate" the situation and resist getting angry is simply to think: "It's not about me, it must be having a bad day."

Faced with the question, how to remove anger ?, and when you're really going through a situation like this, remember: "It's not about me, it must be having a bad day."

As neuroscientist Jens Blechert said in relation to some of his research:

"If you are able to re-evaluate and know that your boss is usually in a bad mood, you can prepare for a meeting, " Blechert suggested. "He can shout and shout and shout, but there will be nothing."

Look, when you change your beliefs about a situation, your brain changes the emotions you feel .

David Rock in his book "Your brain at work: strategies to overcome distraction, regain focus and work smarter all day, " says:

In one of Ochsner's re-evaluation experiments, participants are shown a photo of people crying outside a church, which naturally makes the participants feel sad. Then they are asked to imagine that the scene is a wedding, that people cry tears of joy. The moment the participants change their evaluation of the event, their emotional responses change, and Ochsner is there to capture what is happening in their brain using an MRI. As Ochsner explains, "Our emotional responses finally flow from our world assessments, and if we can change those assessments, we change our emotional responses."

This is how reassessment also works for anxiety. Reinterpreting stress as emotion can improve your test performance.

Now, in order for you to succeed in your response to how to remove anger, I want you to know what is happening in your brain.

Essentially, your amygdala is not excited as it does with suppression . In fact, it begins to calm down, until it reaches totally serenity.

Going back to the `` Emotions Regulation Manual '' by James J. Gross, he says:

The evidence that re-evaluation can directly influence this amygdala circuit comes from findings consisting of tomographic positron emission (PET) and magnetic resonance imaging studies. Functional (fMRI) in healthy individuals who show decreases dependent on re-evaluation in the activation of the amygdala in response to negative stimuli.

Instead of bottling or suppressing your anger, you should tell yourself that you are having a bad day, you will see that the feelings of anger will plummet and good feelings will increase. Here is the secret when responding how to remove anger ?

Let us return to James J. Gross in his book Manual of regulation of emotions

In contrast, experimental studies have shown that re-evaluation leads to reduced levels of negative emotion experience and increased positive emotion experience (Gross, 1998a; Feinberg, Willer, Antonenko, & John, 2012; Lieberman, Inagaki, Tabibnia, & Crockett, 2011; Ray, McRae, Ochsner, and Gross, 2010; Szasz, Szentagotai, and Hofmann, 2011; Wolgast, Lundh, and Viborg, 2011), have no impact or decrease Sympathetic nervous system responses (Gross, 1998a; Kim & Hamann, 2012; Stemmler, 1997; Shiota & Levenson, 2012; Wolgast et al., 2011), and leads to less activation in generating brain regions of emotions like the amygdala (Goldin et al., 2008; Kanske, Heissler, Schonfelder, Bongers, & Wessa, 2011; Ochsner & Gross, 2008; Ochsner et al., 2004) and ventral striatum (Staudinger, Erk, Abler and Walter, 2009).

Now, another question that is also important to solve is what happens to social outcomes?

According to all these investigations, experts have concluded that people who re-evaluate report better relationships, and their friends report agreeing completely.

Meet this other quote from Dr. James J. Gross in his book "Manual of emotion regulation"

Revaluation, on the other hand, has no detectable adverse consequences for social affiliation in a laboratory context (Butler et al., 2003). Correlational studies support these findings: people who normally use re-evaluation are more likely to share their emotions, both positive and negative, and report that they have closer relationships with friends, which coincides with reports of greater sympathy of their partners (Gross and John, 2003; Mauss et al., 2011).

Now, if you get angry and start telling yourself: “They are trying to make me fall! They want to make my life miserable! ”That is also a re-evaluation, however, it is done in the wrong direction. You are telling yourself a story that is even worse than reality. This will make your go shoot. Never do this! Don't do it please!

You have seen how the infomercials always say: “But wait, there is more! I tell you that the re-evaluation has another great benefit: do you remember how suppression undermined self-control and made you do things that you later regretted?

Well, like children in the marshmallow experiment, re-evaluation can increase your willpower and help you behave better after intense moments .

Walter Mischel explains:

The experiments with marshmallows convinced me that if people can change the way they mentally represent a stimulus, they can exercise self-control and escape being victims of the hot stimuli that come to control their behavior.

How did you like the Article? If you really start using these strategies for how to get rid of anger, I tell you that your life will go a very good way, you will get where you want to go!

Well, I want you to accompany me to make a good summary of what you just met, and make sure once and for all, that anger doesn't come back to your life.

Summary: how to remove anger?

… By practicing forgiveness, we are actually creating peace in the lives of others and in our world.

Here I summarize how to remove the anger from your life:

Very rarely suppress, or never do. They may not know that you are angry, but you will feel worse inside and hurt your personal and social relationships.

Avoid letting off steam . Communication is good, but ventilation will only increase anger. It will distract you from the really fundamental.

Revaluation is undoubtedly the best option . Think inside yourself, "It's not about me, they must be having a bad day."

Sometimes someone gets under your skin and suppression is the only thing you can do to avoid a charge of manslaughter. And, sometimes, re-evaluation can make you tolerate the bad situations you need to get out of.

That is, telling you a more compassionate story about what is happening inside the other person's head is usually the best way to do it. As well as the example I told you about who shouted at you, but their causes for doing so were due to the death of a loved one or the loss of custody of their children.

To end this issue, I want you to ask yourself, and what is the final step to get rid of that anger in the long term so that I can maintain good relationships at all times?

You know the answer, only sometimes we forget. Forgiveness is the key to eradicating anger forever and sustaining excellent relationships .

This is not for them, it is for you. Forgiveness makes you less angry and healthier.

Forgiveness: Final Reflection

Forgiveness is a highly powerful way to achieve peace.

You may have heard that forgiveness is something we "do" for ourselves and has nothing to do with others. In part it is true. When we forgive someone, we feel that the burden is lifted from us.

Pain, pain and anguish free us from control and we feel that we are free. We feel light. A feeling of peace descends upon us. Or put another way, we ascend to a state of peace .

There is another element for forgiveness. The one you forgive, he also feels it. S !, they feel peace.

Think of someone you asked for forgiveness and really forgive you. You realized that I had forgiven you because you felt it with energy.

You felt light, loved and accepted by them. Can you remember a moment like that? A moment when you felt a sense of peace when the other one forgave you.

So, by practicing forgiveness, we are actually creating peace in the lives of others and in our world . This is a powerful way to create peace.

It also applies to forgive those who have already passed away. The past, the present and the future exist simultaneously and, therefore, when you forgive those who have crossed the rainbow bridge into the spirit world, they will also find peace.

Forgiveness is a spiritual muscle that you can build with practice and in this way, as a result, contribute to peace and love in your life and on our planet.

As the old saying goes: clinging to anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

So remember at all times: You are just having a bad day .

How did you think about this article on how to remove the anger from your life? What did you feel during the development of your reading? What did you think? Do you believe in relation to this topic? I invite you to participate in our Forum or in the comments section.

Finally, I want to invite you to be very aware of our next publications, excellent themes we are working for you and transcendence and evolution. We wish you abundant successes and blessings, a Hug of Light!

Author : William Hernán Estrada Pérez, Editor in the Great Family of hermandadblanca.org

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