How to protect ourselves from envy?

  • 2016

Envy occurs when we see that someone has something we want. But we don't realize that what we want may not apply to us. On the contrary, our need to stand out, the lack of self-esteem, the frustration, the difficulty in getting what we want, our feelings of inferiority lead us to this feeling or emotion. By feeling envious we do not perceive that more than any other person, we are harming ourselves; Envy generates resentment, suffering for what others have, unhappiness. Envy becomes such an everyday element that little by little it is poisoning our soul, filling us with bitterness.

Many times our inability to accept reality as it is, becomes the trigger for this feeling. I want something that I can't achieve and I wonder why others do? Then the envy arises towards the one who got what I wanted. We wonder why it is so difficult for me and so easy for him?

We conclude that we have bad luck and that some are born with a star and other stars. ” We attribute this bad luck to external things and this generates greater resentment, since we have no control over the situation. This leads us to an inertia in which we do not set ourselves in motion to achieve things and on the other hand we continue to feel victims of circumstances and destiny. I am constantly looking at the position where the other is to contrast it with mine, this attitude only leads us to feel more resentment, more unhappiness and in the end we end up wishing evil for others.

This attitude of envy is a defense of weak people. Of those who have low self-esteem and therefore consider that they do not have the capacity to do something or achieve what they want. So it's easier to feel like a victim and blame others than to accept my lack or do something to get what I want. On the other hand, we have a hard time accepting reality. The experiences we have are adequate to develop an aspect of our life and what is not presented to us is because it will not teach us anything. We cannot force the universe to give us something. Think of the geniuses who grant wishes. In these stories, when we get what we want we don't enjoy it and realize that it is not as we expected. Then we suffer because what we imagined does not correspond to the desire that genius granted us.

What I can do?

Envy is one of the emotions that have been cataloged by the Judeo-Christian tradition as a capital sin and we try not to feel it because it would turn us into bad human beings but until we recognize it we cannot release it because the only way to get it out is to know that it exists . As long as we are not able to do this, we will be blaming others and feeling victims of destiny. Accusing others of having better luck, better chances of being born with a star while we were born crashed, saying that others get things by having a thread and we are very honest we fight to get things healthy. So the first step is to accept the emotion we are feeling, identify it, observe it and see where it comes from.

When we have observed the emotion we will know what we can do. We have the possibility to make a decision, do I want to continue feeling envious or do I want to change my life to make it a better experience, with my own path and my own achievements? Accept that my achievements should not be those of the other, because each of us is different, because we each have a special mission and therefore we need to be in a different place with different conditions and experiences.

Another important step that we must take into account is to improve our self-esteem, see our qualities and strengths to use them for our benefit. Without self-esteem we will lack the strength we need to do things. We need to break the inertia that leads us to that state of frustration and in the end to envy what others have achieved. Envy and lack of self-esteem take away the energy we need to get to do what we really want. So the first thing is to accept and love you to make the best decisions.

Author: JP Ben-Avid

Editor hermandadblanca.org

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