We all want our children, students, patients to have high self-esteem; and for this to happen, we hear that they must value and appreciate their achievements, give them incentive, words of encouragement, support, security. However, if we want to generate real inner strength, we should go a little deeper.
We will agree that children from a very young age, show pure initiative, desire to know, learn, overcome. They just don't stop! They go from here to there tirelessly, trying and trying; knowing and knowing through experience.
This force to discover, from the physical and biological, is commanded by its learning organ, the brain. He is eager to learn, and through action and repetition, he assimilates the world around him. But the physical is not everything, rather it is a secondary response.
The child is naturally pure energy and vitality because he is connected with his maximum source of power, his spirit. From here begins his desire to make or discover. With every attempt, effort and achievement, the child is further rooted in his personal power, and as a consequence, his security in the world is enhanced.
Many parents, out of fear or ignorance, avoid or repress children's initiatives. This not only restricts your physical experience, but your spirit-spiritual world is also weakened.
Imagine a baby who is learning to move by his own means. It is pure will and initiative. Crawling, crawling or taking his first steps, try to reach a toy that is several meters away from him. His father, instead of seeing this display as a manifestation of unlimited power, perceives the opposite. He is sorry for the effort that this little one has to make to reach “so little”. Therefore, to help him, he brings the toy.
The baby could not prove his power, in other words, if he was going to be able; Moreover, it seems that the outside confirms otherwise, that is why they have solved the problem.
There was no effort, no frustration, no achievement.
The development of real self-esteem
Today we see that both parents and educators fear experiences, and therefore avoid them. They want to prevent crises, frustration, that the child feels helpless, incapacitated, that he "suffers." Therefore, they avoid the demands, the challenges, the tests of the capacities. Many times they resolve their conflicts, without letting the child face them.
We do not know that in the encounter with the challenges and trials of the world, the child is empowered, which is the origin of real good self-esteem.
Self-esteem does not have much to do with looking in the mirror and liking us. It is a direct contact with our divine source, which makes us feel powerful, capable and accompanied by everything, even being alone.
This space is reached, or rather, we do not block this contact that we all naturally have, allowing the will and initiative to be reflected in the action and experience.
Making decisions, facing the consequences, speaking with the truth, doing courageously, getting it right and wrong, is the exercise that the spirit needs to empower itself. Just as the physical body requires food, movement, rest, etc., the spirit needs real experiences in the world.
When we do not allow the child to check if he can; strive, get frustrated, even ask for help if you need it, we are weakening your spirit-spiritual being.
When the disconnection of power and innate trust occurs, a new role takes preponderance: a passive one, of victim . The child, instead of feeling capable of going to, will expect to be served, that everything is easy and available. The encounters with small difficulties will seem enormous; It will be perceived as a small nut shell, sailing in a sea of tumultuous experiences.
However, we are born feeling in the biggest and most powerful ship. We feel captains, capable of facing any storm. We know that we can cross the road ahead, and get where we want to go.
If the limits, fears and insecurity of the adult world do not allow the experience, the being, the Spiritual Self of the child, weakens. On the other hand, if we are not afraid of error, failure, possible pain or imperfection, we will be saying, without a word, "we trust you can", " we trust you have the power to do so ."
Allowing the child to be enlightened in the face of an achievement, that he may cry in the face of a failure, and then take strength and try again, is one of the most valuable gifts we can give him.
If we want high self-esteem, we must take care of the initiatives, the desire to discover, the desire to experiment; and of course, we must allow them in a framework of care, but trust. It will be necessary to remember that, behind there, there is a spirit wanting to confirm that it is powerful, that it wants and can be here, in this beautiful world.
Author: Nancy Erica Ortiz
Integral Pedagogue
Source: https: //www.caminosalser.com/i1740-como-fortalecer-la-autoestima-en-los-ninos-de-hoy/
How to strengthen self-esteem in children today? by Nancy Erica Ortiz
